crescent moons
Current mood: excited
I make lists. Lists work for me. If I need to get things done, I just write it down. I like to search for answers to stupid things. For example, one day I was just sitting around. I glanced down at my fingers and started to really take a close look. I wrote down on my list: Crescent moon fingernails.
This item on my list reminded me to look up what exactly are those little markings on each of your fingernails that look like crescent moons.
The 'moon' or 'lunula' you see is actually the leading edge of the matrix (someone tell Neo), which is where the nail plate cells are born. The moon is most prominent on the thumb nails and can be seen on the index fingers and the middle fingers, but is rarely seen on the ring fingers and (almost) never on the pinky fingers. This is natural!
If one has very thick natural nails, the moon will be more prominent as it developes more nail plate cells the longer it is and the more visible it is. If the nail plate is thin, one will rarely see the lunula (moon) on any of the nails.
If one sees a change in color of the lunula, it can signify an internal disorder that will require a physician to diagnose. Otherwise, not having a prominent lunula does not signify a 'health related' problem.
So, there ya go. Who knows, maybe someday this information I've passed on could make you sound brilliant in a future, random conversation with friends. Or maybe it could even save a life.
Crazy Person of the Day: There was this crazy guy at the diner today. He was quite particular about his slice of cake he was getting to go. A little too particular. But in the end, he was a very happy customer. I guess he'll have his cake the way he wants it....and eat it too.
Check Out Track of the Day: Beatles - I Will
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Sorry
Current mood: busy
Ok, so I didn't post any blogmas blogs like I said I would. I apologize. I just wasn't motivated to log on and write anything. I was seriously considering taking down all my blogs on here. I still might do that. We'll see. For now, I'm signing off. Who knows what will be next.
Sincerely,
Bob
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Monday, December 19, 2005
Blogmas
Current mood: chipper
Hello, I am back. I'm not sure how many people actually have subscriptions to this blog, so I'm not sure how many people will actually read this. Sorry I haven't been writing much lately. Now that it's cold out, I haven't been jogging, so it's difficult to get into the habit of writing about my adventures. But I feel the crazies are still out there. So I will do my best to track them down. I'll never cease observing the interesting (crazy) in the mundane.
This week, I will post my 7 days of Blogmas. Starting tomorrow (Monday) and going all the way up through Christmas, I will enter a blog each day about something peculiar that has happened in my day with some sort of holiday twist. So as you're sitting back, nursing an egg nog or two, log on and enjoy.
Crazy Reindeer of the Day: Cupid - he fell in love with an elf and made a hybrid ReinElf that every kid in America now wants as a pet.
Check Out Track of the Day: Visit my Hero for a festive instrumental.
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Thursday, November 10, 2005
There Goes My Hero
My hero has updated his site. Visit and explore.
Updated Hero
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Wednesday, October 19, 2005
Wilma
Current mood: enthralled
It's a new record! 882 mb
This just in: Florida just crapped its pants.
Crazy Person of the Day: Those guys that fly into these hurricanes to get measurements. I don't even want to know what kind of turbulence they experience.
Check Out Track of the Day: Scorpions - Rock You Like a Hurricane
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Saturday, October 15, 2005
Leonardo's Katana
A 21-year-old Green Bay man was arrested Wednesday after he pulled out a katana-style sword when he was thrown off a tour bus outside the Riverside Ballroom.
The man was trying to give some compact discs demos to members of Twiztid (If anybody can find me their site, I'd be really happy), the venue’s headliner.
The man got onto the band’s bus, but was told to leave. When he refused, members of the band’s security team removed him from the bus, Hemes said.
Once outside the bus, the man pulled a sword from the front of his pants and began swinging it around. Police at the scene said the sword was almost as long as the man’s leg.
Someone in the crowd disarmed the man and attempted to hold him at the scene, according to police. The man escaped from security, but was stopped by police as he tried to drive out of the parking lot about 10:10 p.m.
The suspect was the only person injured in the fray, as a result of being detained by security.
The man was jailed on an outstanding warrant and cited by Green Bay police for disorderly conduct and carrying a concealed weapon. He could be fined, but does not face jail time.
Crazy Perso.....oh, is it really not that obvious?!
Check Out Track of the Day: Sonics - "Have Love Will Travel"
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Friday, October 14, 2005
Pink
Current mood: apathetic
This year, an estimated 211,240 new cases of breast cancer will be diagnosed among women in the US. An estimated 40,410 women are expected to die from it in the US. Close to 2.5 million women currently have it right now. New Jersey has the highest death rate from breast cancer than any other state.
October is Breast Cancer Awareness month. Advancement in detection and treatments are essential in fighting this war. Donations, grants, and volunteer work are all we have. Even pledging $1 could make a difference. Scientists are very close to developing a cure, so why not help be a part of this breakthrough and make it happen sooner. Don't let it take a relative of yours to have cancer before you start your contribution because time is running out for a lot of women.
There are several stores, including Payless ShoeSource and Saks Fifth Avenue, that are asking for customer donations. You can also make a donation at BreastCancer.org
Crazy Person of the Day: Non-donators
Check Out Track of the Day: Guided By Voices - "Motor Away"
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Thursday, October 13, 2005
I Feel Just Like Dylan's Mr. Jones
Current mood: working
Try to see it my way.
Do I have to keep on talking till I can’t go on?
While you see it your way,
Run the risk of knowing that our love may soon be gone.
We can work it out.
Think of what you’re saying.
You can get it wrong and still you think that it’s alright.
Think of what I’m saying.
We can work it out and get it straight, or say good night.
We can work it out.
Life is very short, and there’s no time
For fussing and fighting, my friends.
I have always thought that it’s a crime,
So I will ask you once again.
Try to see it my way,
Only time will tell if I am right or I am wrong.
While you see it your way,
There’s a chance that we may fall apart before too long.
We can work it out.
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Wednesday, October 12, 2005
We Can Do It
Current mood: optimistic
We can do it.
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Sunday, October 09, 2005
Go Fish
I go downstairs to do the laundry today. There I am, carrying the dirty clothes to the washer. My eyes gaze up. I spot the biggest silverfish I've ever seen just hanging out on the far wall.
I have a slight fear of spiders. I like to exaggerate it a lot because it makes for good humor. Nonetheless, I do have a fear of them. The only insect that I'm more fearful of that is common to this geography are indeed silverfish. My first time ever seeing one of these creepy crawlers was fairly recently back in college. I remember going into a seldom used closet to retrieve some music education materials and I noticed it on the ground. It moved very quickly and it's odd silvery color freaked me out.
When something moves that quick that you're afraid of, you do this sort of awkward jump in the air. And while you're in mid-air, you briefly think that somehow you can just float there in safety. And when you start coming back down your legs start doing this funky, gravity-fighting, kicking dance in an effort to find some possible way of avoiding the same space that possibly could be occupied at any second by this lightning quick, alien, killer bug thing. No doubt, whatever you are picturing in your mind is exactly what it looks like for real.
Anyway, this giant silverfish in my basement is just stuck there on the wall giving me the staredown. First of all, I had no clue that they could even cling to the wall. Now, they are even creepier in my book. Secondly, I read that they are quite nocturnal. Why, when I turned on the bright lights to the basement, didn't this thing run off under some darkness where it belongs? This only leads me to believe that this silverfish had superinsect powers.
Well, I won't disclose the ending to this story, but it involved a lot of screaming, cringing, awkward jumping, and finally a few fearfully tense moments as it fell to the floor and tried to make a getaway until it eventually was dead in a pool of insect spray.
Crazy Person of the Day: Exterminators - they're crazy, but God bless them.
Checkout Track of the Day: Johnny Maestro and The Brooklyn Bridge - "Welcome Me Love"
Saturday, October 01, 2005
Dropping Like Flies
On my computer cabinet, I have stickers everywhere. Most are from local bands. Over the years, after playing so many gigs with other bands, going to see friend's bands, going to music conferences, you end up with a lot of stickers. Their cheap, easy, good promotion. So I take them and stick them on my cabinet. It's a good way to remind myself, maybe months later, to look them up on the internet and check them out again.
I once had a good amount of stickers. I'd say about 50 or so. After a few years, I stopped sticking them on because it was getting ridiculously crowded. I also couldn't keep up with looking at all of their websites.
But I noticed something. A lot of the bands that I tried to look up, no longer existed. And I'm a pretty good searcher too. There was no official website, no mention of them on their indie label, no links directing me to ANY evidence that they are still playing or writing. So with these bands, what should I do with the stickers? Of course! I'll take them off. I thought it would be funny to see the percentage of bands that break up.
Well, months later, when all was said and done I was left with 6 bands! Feel (no label), Todd Agnew (Ardent Records), Lorraine Ferro (no label), The Blood Brothers (ARTISTdirect), Engine Number 9 (no label), and Pillar (Flicker Records).
Now my cabinet has a lot of empty spaces and places where the adhesive of the sticker was too strong so it tore off the faux wood wallpaper.
This little experiment proves that most bands don't stay together for as long as you'd think. I'm sure a lot of the bands break up, maybe reform in another band, or maybe just change names, etc. But it shows how it's difficult to find a group of like-minded, dedicated musicians that will stick it out through thick and thin.
Crazy Bug of the Day: As I was walking with a friend down a sidewalk we saw this crazy looking bug dashing away from a bunch of evil ants that were trying to kill it. The ants were ganging up on it and attacking it from all sides. I stopped and asked, "Should I save it?" With the green light response, I started stepping on all the ants. They quickly backed off and the crazy bug got away. I think I made a difference in that bug's life. I hope he uses this second chance to make a better life for himself. (In reality, after we walked away, the ants probably came back and ate him...but let's try not to be so pessimistic.)
Checkout Track of the Day: Michelle Shocked - Anchorage
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Thursday, September 29, 2005
Saving Lives
Current mood: awake
It was a typical Monday early evening. There was a slight drizzle coming down. I was driving home from a drum student's house of mine. I get to the corner of the block and I make a right turn. I look down the road and see a puppy trot across, barely escaping the wheels of a runaway box truck. I pull off to the side of the road and look to see if there was an owner running after it. Nothing.
I then begin a series of debates in my head about what to do. Most people don't do anything. Even in cases of robberies, people just look out for themselves and try to avoid the situation. I mean, you always hear about heroes on the news....about some guy tackling some violent criminal to the ground and saving the day....or some guy diving into the frozen lake to save a kid....but in reality, most people do nothing.
And I'm no different usually. I just mind my own business. Sometimes I see an old lady walking with grocery bags in both her hands. And it's obvious that she's struggling and has to walk a distance - not just from her car to her house. I think to myself, I should offer to carry the bags for her. But in the end, I just pass her by and seconds later it's forgotten.
This time, when I saw that puppy, something changed. I pulled off to the side of the road and got out. I tried to go over to the dog, but it didn't seem to respond to me and kept trotting away. I got back in my car and almost gave up, thinking, "oh, it'll probably just go back home on it's own." But no, I persisted.
I put the car in reverse and neandered myself through moderate traffic about 2 blocks. A few people honked, but I didn't care. I looked back and the dog was still further down. I had to back into a driveway and make a U-turn. I pulled up near the puppy. I noticed that across the street, an older woman was walking her dog. She noticed me and we both asked eachother questions at the same time. I said, "Do you know whose dog this is?" And she asked, "Is that your dog?" The answer was no to both of them. Then, the puppy made a startling decision. It stepped off the curb and back onto the street.
The traffic that was flowing was a sure deathtrap. The lady tried to motion with her poopy bag to shoo the puppy back onto the sidewalk. I finally called it over, but then it got scared again and walked down the sidewalk the other way.
I persisted. I got back in the car and drove right up next to it. I slowly got out and calmly called it over to me. It finally came to me, sniffed me, and seemed really happy to be petted. I noticed it had a tag on. I was in luck. It had an address! And better yet, I knew the street. It was only about four or five blocks from where we were.
I opened my car door, slid the seat back and ushered the puppy onto the floorboard of the passenger side. As soon as I closed the door though, it jumped up on the seat. Oh well, it's okay. It even sat down, panting, and looking excited about the ride. Before I could even get into the driver's side, it started to come over to me. Looks like I made a friend.
I drove the 1/2 mile or so to the address on the tag. I left the puppy in the seat as I approached the house. A man was getting out of his truck in his driveway. I asked if he had a dog. He said something like, "yes, do you have him." I ran back to my car and took the dog by the collar and guided him to his owner. The man called to it and I let go of the collar. The puppy ran into the yard and the reunion was quite a reward.
The man thanked me and I was quickly on my way. The whole experience made me remember Beechy, a dog that lived on the corner of my block that got lost. I used to greet Beechy every day before I went for my jog. We became very familiar with eachother but I never met the owners and I never actually knew it's real name until I saw the flyers. The owners put them up all over town. I even went searching for her a couple of days, but couldn't find her. Eventually, they called off the search. Soon after, they sold the house and moved out.
Anyway, this dog I rescued did change me in a way. I think I'm going to be more assertive when it comes to getting involved with things. I'm tired of being passive. I want to do things. I want things to happen and I want to be a part of it. The puppy also didn't have a name. I nicknamed it Meta. I thought about how it was partially responsible for my metamorphosis. Another connection I saw was how I found the puppy on Division Ave and how I was at first divided on whether I should save it or not. Also, on a side-side note, about 5 minutes after I returned Meta, a cat darted out in front of my car. I would have struck it if I wasn't paying attention. Luckily, I slammed on my brakes. Not sure if it counted as one of it's nine lives, but I'd like to think it was another life I'd saved.
Updated Crazy Person of the Day: While in DC this past weekend I saw a guy playing the guitar and singing anti-war songs in the ampitheater. That's all fine and dandy, but it was the most wretched thing I've ever heard. Sometimes, you have to just stick to holding a big, hand-made, sign.
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Thursday, September 22, 2005
Katrina's Evil Step-Sister
Current mood: excited
"Nothing can come between us,
When it gets dark I tow your heart away."
"Lovely Rita" by the Beatles
I think we made Rita jealous with all the attention Katrina was getting. 170 MPH sustained winds, 200 MPH gusts. Every hurricane season, I like to track them as they come. There are several dark fascinations I have. One of them is tracking deadly storms. When I visted out west, I had a brush with a tornado warning. Now keep in mind, this is different than a tornado watch. A warning means that rotating clouds are spotted in the area. Since there was no storm cellar or basement, I reluctantly had to crouch into a closet and hold the door shut with my hand... all the while listening to the TV weather reporter, hoping the power didn't go out. It was frightening, but exciting.
I even get excited when a simple thunderstorm passes by. I don't know why. Well, when I was younger and living with my parents, my dad instilled some of the excitment / fear. You see, my house was blanketed with antennas. Radio, TV, CB, you name it. I think we even had some SETI antennas up there. So of course, when a bad storm would come, my dad would sometimes make me and my brother get our shoes on because of the risk of lightning hitting one of the gazillion rods targetted at our house. Keep in mind, this was usually really late at night and the odd feeling of having your sneakers on with just your Knight Rider pajamas was a bit off-setting to a youngster.
So be it a tornado, thunderstorm, hurricane, blizzard, or just the freak wind storm....I get excited. Of course, I don't want to see anyone get hurt. I don't find anything interesting about that. I do know that floods are the biggest killers. It's not lightning, or debris. It's water. People always seem to underestimate the strength of water. I remember one time, trying to drive home from work when the streets and parts of the highway were flooded. Even I, of all people, tried to drive through high waters that I probably shouldn't have driven through. By pure luck, my car didn't stall out. After carefully negotiating my way through a snaking alternate route of dry land, I eventually made it home in about 2 hours (which normally took 15 minutes.)
So now we have Rita. The bitch tornado. Projected models of her path indicate that she should hit the northern seaboard of Texas. They also say that she should weaken a little bit before hitting land. I'm carefully looking at the pressure though. If there is any one indicator of whether a hurricane will strengthen or not, it's the pressure. Right now, she's steady at about 897 mb. For those that don't know - this is REALLY low. The record for lowest pressure ever to hit the US is 892 from the infamous Labor Day Hurricane of 1935. So that would make Rita 5 mb away from the record. In other words, this is a monster that we haven't seen for 70 years.
Crazy Person of the Day: I was watching the news today about a family that was butchered to death in a neighboring city of mine. However, the 9-yr old managed to dial 911 after he too was stabbed multiple times. He's still alive and pointed out that a relative was possibly to blame. At the end of the news segment, they interviewed a few people. The Crazy award goes to this dude that said his peace of mind, but then abruptly cut in with his final words: "What else is there to say?
Oh lord I wish I had TiVo.
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Wednesday, September 21, 2005
Gettysburg Ghosts
Current mood: morose
When I was a kid, I was fascinated by UFOs, aliens, ghosts and the paranormal. I guess in many ways, I still am, but I've grown to be less of a believer. As years go by, I think about how I've never witnessed or experienced anything I would consider proof to myself that these things exist. I still, however, like to entertain the notion. I love watching those kind of documentaries on TV that try to hunt ghosts or provide proof of UFOs. I'm not so much into those TV shows about them....except for maybe X-files...but that was a long time ago. I also own almost every issue of a local magazine called Weird NJ, which recounts our state's legends, tells of people's weird encouters, and points out spooky places to visit. It's very entertaining, but of all the sites I've visited, nothing bizarre has ever happened.
The only thing I can say that spooks me out is that I have recurring dreams about UFOs. Usually, it revolves around me spotting one in the sky and somehow - telepathically I guess - realizing that they are aware of me being aware of them. I also have vague memories of contact with aliens in my dreams. I know some would venture to even say that it may actually have happened and they've erased my memory of it.
I've seen the ocassional object in the sky. Most of the time, it's a plane. Recently, there was a helicopter that was hovering right above the highway with a searchbeam pointed downward into a group of buildings. At first, I had no idea what it was and it freaked me out (almost wrecked). But upon closer inspection it was disappointing. The other objects I've seen could very well have been a blimp or something like that. I've never seen anything that moved in a manner that didn't seem like it was man-made.
As far as ghosts...I've never had anything happen to me that I couldn't provide a possible explanation for. I once had a television that changed channels on me automatically. I was spooked for a while until I figured that one of my neighbors probably had the same frequency remote as mine and the ocassional strong beam pointed in the right direction would trigger it. I've heard "noises" at night. But that could just be what every parent refers to as "the house settling." Actually, at night, when the temperature drops, it affects the supports of the house, usually causing it to slightly squeak every so often.
So as you can tell by now, it's hard for me to believe because of my experiences...or lack of experiences shall I say. And when people try to tell me their unexplainable ghost or UFO stories, I entertain them with my utmost interest, but deep down inside, I'm just thinking, "Oh, they're just more gullible than I am."
Last Saturday, I found myself in Gettysburg, PA. It seems that everywhere you look in this town, you can find a Ghost Hunt, Candlelight Tour, or Midnight Walk. Whatever they call it, they promise you a paranormal tour of Gettysburg's haunted reputation. Ok, fine. Even if I don't see or hear anything, it should be fun.
So off we go. Our tour guide was a nice lady, but she reaked of bologna. No, not the actual deli meat. I mean, bullshit. She played up ANY little thing. If someone felt a slight draft, she would say it was a ghost and go into some story about a dead kid from the Civil War. I listened with a smile. I took a bunch of pics with my camera at each site. We visited an old Civil War church that was once used as a living morgue. She said the bodies were piles so high that they would reach to our necks. We then went to a few other houses. I also did some voice recordings and tried to contact the dead. I asked such questions like, "If there are any spirits, please speak now" and "Are you from the North or the South" and my favorite, "This is your last chance to say something into the microphone."
Our tour guide was also taking a million pictures. It wasn't too spooky because there were about 15 of us - most were taking pictures with really bright flashes. Now I know why so many people are seeing "orbs." They're not energies - they're just LIGHTBULBS! Everywhere you look, DOTS! The guide let us listen to her voice recordings which had ghosts on them. We would all listen, and at the point where she said she heard something, there was nothing I could hear. Some where like, "OHHH, yes, I heard it! It said, Let me out!" I think it was just someone shuffling their feet. The tour guide is supposedly going to email us her pics that have ghosts in them. I'm thinking of Photoshopping a really comical looking ghost into one of my pics and sending it back to her.
Ok, so we finally get to our last "most haunted" spot. It's a grove, lined with trees and a woodsy area at the end. She took us through the grove and by certain trees. She warned us that the ghosts like to touch the women. They like to brush their hair and touch their ankles. I swear on my grave, about 6 or 7 people in the group claimed to have been touched. I'm not saying it didn't happen, but I didn't experience anything. I personally think that the power of persuasion played an important role. But honestly, it did make it more entertaining.
The climax of the tour was and the end of the grove. It was by far the spookiest place because of how dark it was. Here we all are in this dark field. At first, nobody wanted to go up to the trees to do a voice recording. So I bravely walked up and did a few. There was also this cool, hollowed out tree. I took a pic inside it and did another voice recording. Maybe when I review the evidence, something will mysteriously be there.
So that's my trip. I checked some of the pics I took for ghosts or "orbs." Nothing really stands out. Some were really scary-looking, but that's just how I look at night. I haven't checked the voice recordings, but if I discover anything unusual, I'll be sure to post it.
Crazy Person of the Day: There was a dude that drove past our tour group that yelled out of his window, "You're wasting your money!!!!" It was pretty funny.
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Friday, September 16, 2005
Battle
Current mood: bored
Check out GoogleBattle. It's a site where you see which of two words is more popular on the internet.
For instance, I battled "Bob" vs. "Joe." Bob came back with 296 million results and Joe came back with only 174 million. I win!
Crazy Person of the Day: Kanye West. Bob hates stupid people.
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Friday, September 16, 2005
spider on my arm
Current mood: crazy
I just got bit by this spider. I didn't see it, but I have 2 bites on my arm. It started out as 2 small itchy dots. But now they've swelled to about the size of half-dollar coins. They're red, hot to the touch, and sore.
I'm feeling dizzy and I think I'm hallucinating. If you don't see a blog in a while, I may be incompacitated or dead.
Crazy Person of the Day: There's a monkey in a red straightjacket trying to eat a banana with his feet sitting in the corner of my living room. That's pretty crazy. Someone make it stop.
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Tuesday, September 13, 2005
Goonies 2
Current mood: nostalgic
There have been rumors for the past 4 years. It's something that has been talked about for almost 20 years. Yes, that's right. The quintessential 80's movie, The Goonies, may still have a chance for it's sequel to be filmed.
I know some very priviliged information. But all I can release to the public is that the script has been written, the directors are willing, the old cast is willing, and locations are currently being scouted, including the original location in Astoria (Oregon?). There are, however, a few hangups, and filming probably won't start for a long time. But keep your fingers crossed.
Never Say Die.
Crazy Person of the Day: Chunk
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Monday, September 12, 2005
BK
Current mood: weird
I went to Burger King today. I haven't been there in a while. Honestly. Actually, today was my third day without meat. To tell you the truth, I feel great. I've been eating a lot of fruits and veggies, and a lot of other things like jello, crackers, Chex mix, peanuts, bagels, waffels, etc. Anyway, so I'm in line at Burger King.
I order my food and get it to go. I take my cup over to the fountain. I'm still cutting off caffeine, so I opted for the Orange soda. I was thirsy, so after I filled it up, I drank 3 large gulps and proceded to fill it back up to the brim again.
Except when I released the button, orange stuff kept coming out. And I say "orange stuff" because it wasn't the consistancy of orange soda. It was thicker. It was just the syrup without the carbonated water. So the remainding inch or so of my cup was filled and mixed in with just the syrup. Ok, fine, it'll taste a bit sweeter...not a big deal.
I remove my cup from the fountain and notice the syrup just gushing out automatically without any button being pressed. I inspected the button to see if it was jammed, but it was fine. I looked around to see if anybody was watching this to see if maybe they could help. Nope, I was on my own.
I resorted to what every man does when something doesn't work. Yes, I hit it. And with one fell smack, the square, plastic label of the Orange soda fountain flung off into the lids. Soda was slightly spraying everywhere.
Only me.
I looked around again for help and encouragement. It was like the Twilight Zone. Did I even exist? Was this happening?
You know what? I said, "I'm just gonna leave." And I took my food and sugary soda and briskly exited the establishment.
What a wacky day.
Crazy Person of the Day: Laura Bush, for her instantly insincere speech to Alabama victims of Katrina when she TWICE referred to it as Corina.
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Millionaire Result!!!!!
Current mood: anxious
Ok. I'm writing in real time here. Well, I guess I'm always writing in real time....what I mean is, I'm writing this blog as things happen...except for this next part....call it the intro:
INTRO:
Ok, so I go out to get the mail. I'm sorting through it all. Junk, junk, neighbor's, junk, neighbor's, coupons (junk), postcard from Millionaire, junk.....WAIT, POSTCARD FROM MILLIONAIRE!
And it just so happens that I was looking at it with the address side up. So the note telling me whether or not I will be in the contestant pool is on the other side.
REAL TIME:
Ok, so it's right in front of me now. I'm looking at it. I still haven't seen the other side. My name and address are in a sloppy cursive. I don't feel too hopeful. I would think that if I was going to be on Millionaire, I'd get at least an envelope with a letter explaining directions on the details of being on the show. But then again, the guy at the audition said, you'll just receive a postcard. If it says YES, you're in. But then I couldn't remember if the people would get a NO if they're not in. Damn it! Maybe he said if you're not in, you won't get anything. Or maybe it was you'll get a postcard that says NO. I DON'T REMEMBER!
Ok, the sides of the postcard is kinda ripped. It doesn't look like a winner to me. Or maybe it got a little ripped in the mail. Maybe it was the mailman's fault.
Alright, I think I'm ready to turn it over and discover my fate. A small side of me wants it to say NO because I'm nervous about doing bad on the show. Ok, here goes nothing........
Ok, I chickened out. I bent over the top half of the card just to reveal the Millionare Logo and the words "Valleycrest Production LTD." Ok, here's the real deal......
......
......
Thank you for your interest in being a contestant on "Who Wants to be a Millionaire." You have not been selected to be a potential contestant. We appreciate your continued interest in the show and thank you for taking the time to audition with us.
Well, there you have it, folks. It's a no go.
Crazy Person of the Day: {in a sulky voice} Whoever it was that was responsible at Millionaire for rejecting my appearance on the show. Surely, they must be crazy.
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Saturday, September 10, 2005
Millionaire Update
Current mood: hopeful
Yes, it's true. I might appear on the gameshow Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? Which is why I need your help.
I need you to message me ANY stupid trivia you have. It could be about entertainment, sports, literature, geography, world records, or ANYTHING you specialize in. Even if it's dumb, send it to me. You never know what might appear as a question.
Crazy People of the Day: All the people who perpetuate that STUPID Applebee's gift certificate e-mail hoax. I can't believe it's still going and I can't believe how many stupid people are out there.
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Friday, September 09, 2005
GasDaq II
Current mood: contemplative
I'm having a special on gas today: A Going Out of Business Sale. Come by my garage and get it while supplies last.
Instructions: Knock 3 times on the pane of the garage door. Loudly state, "I am not the police!" Then for every gallon you wish to purchase, knock that many more times on the pane.
Gas prices have peaked and are slowly coming back down. I still have a bunch of gas that I bought several years ago when it was only $1.44. Everything must go. The sale is $2 a gallon. No credit cards accepted.
Check out this graph
I'll be inside my garage waiting for you. Knock loud, because I'll be welding a huge hole I made in the bottom of my car. The Flintstones were geniuses. But it looks like I might be able to afford gas again.
Crazy Person of the Day: Celine Dion, who recently said it was okay for people to loot stores in New Orleans because there are poor people who have never touched nice things like that before. Canada called, they said to stop bothering us Americans and get back home.
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Wednesday, September 07, 2005
fjasldkfjasdl;kjfl;as
As funny as the subject line is, I'm sure it's been used before. This is in reference to my jury duty.
I arrive early at the court administration building to find parking. Even on their notice, they say they HIGHLY recommend public transportation. You can't park at a meter and if you find a spot, more than likely it will require a Zone 2 permit, which you have to obtain inside the building. Retarded.
I parked far away in a free spot. So I walked about 10 minutes.
I get inside the building, go through security, and wait in line for a few minutes. The lady tells me I can't be in the jury today because they didn't recieve my form in the mail. fjasldkfjasdl'kjfl'as
Now, she makes me fill out another application to request another date. I decided to go with the hardship excuse this time and get out of it all together. I return it to the lady and she calls me on it. She told me I'd need the appropriate W-2 forms and whatnot. Then she noticed I was a teacher, so finally, after a brief discussion, we postponed the date until late June. I'll be getting another form in the mail. This will be the fourth time I will have filled it out. I'm so mad.
I wasn't leaving empty-handed though. I stole the pencil she gave me.
The walk back to my car was longer somehow. I think I invented new combination of curse words. With my luck, I expected a ticket on my window, or my stereo stolen. No luck this time, but I am running out of gas. The court should compensate me for the $3 or so it took me to get there.
Crazy Person of the Day: Weird, old Japanese man wearing a gi and stretching out on the sidewalk. I thought he was going to karate chop my neck as I passed him.
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Monday, September 05, 2005
Jury Duty
Current mood: working
I've been summoned. My call to serve my country has come. Yes. Jury Duty. I am officially Juror No. 0430. I go in tomorrow morning. It should be interesting...at least noteworthy for a blog. I will be sure to take notes and disclose as much information (as much as I'm allowed, of course) in my next blog.
Projected Crazy Person of Tomorrow: The Accused
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Sunday, September 04, 2005
Who Wants Me To Be On Millionaire?
Current mood: excited
Well, I auditioned for Who Wants To Be a Millionaire recently. Here's basically what I went through for the audition:
I arrived at the ABC building and filled out an application / survey. The questions were along the lines of "What would you do with a million dollars?" and "What's the most interesting thing about you?" I tried to answer as creatively and humorously as I could.
Next, we waited on line for a while. I suppose there were about 60 or more of us. They then lead us across the street to a dining room inside a bar to take the test. The test consisted of about 30 questions. We had 10 minutes to take it. For the record, the guy across from me totally cheated off me. Loser.
We were then lead back across the street where we stood in line for about an hour. And of course I find the most annoying person in line to stand next to. This guy and his wife were chain smokers like you wouldn't believe. He smoked at least 10 cigarettes in that hour. The guy had one of the most annoying personalities ever. I literally stood about 10 feet behind them to get away.
The line grew as audience members arrived. We all then shuffled past security into the building and onto the set. It was pretty cool. They had this warm-up guy come out to keep us entertained and enthusiastic. He was really good. I don't think I was bored 1 second.
Meredith came out and did two tapings of the show. It was fun. At the end of the show, the warm-up guy came out and announced the people who passed the test. My name got called. Whoo hoo!
The 16 or so of us that passed were told to sit in a section while the rest exit the building. We then got our pictures taken and handed in our applications / surveys. I then was briefly interviewed - about 3 minutes - for them to get a sense of my personality. It went fairly well. I tried to stay animated and exciting. I think I was the only young person there. No offense, but the others looked pretty boring. The kicker was that the guy who cheated off me was there too. Grr!
We then left the building. They said they would send us all postcards in the mail to let us know if we were in the contestant pool for a future taping. I'll be sure to announce it on my blog when I find out.
I'm kinda nervous now, because I don't consider myself that smart. I have a lot of categorical weaknesses in trivia. My history isn't all that great...geography sucks....literature is down the tubes. If I get picked, just pray that I get a lot of entertainment questions and dumb trivia.
Crazy Person of the Day: The guy in front of me in the line outside ABC. His name is David Wittman (I peeked at his application). I overheard he has a PHD in Psychology. Seriously. I can't make stuff like that up!
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Thursday, August 25, 2005
Chord Analysis and Crazies
Current mood: geeky
Air Supply's "Every Woman in the World To Me"
with selected chord analysis by me.
Intro: F# - B - F# - E
V - I - V - IV (V/A)
Verse: A - D - A - D - bm - E - c#m - f#m - D - A - E (Repeat)
Chorus:
A E
[Girl..you're]
A - A/G# - D - bm - D - E
A - A/G# - D - bm - C#sus4 - C#
I - IV - ii - V/vi (V/V in B)
1st Reprisal: F# - B - F# - F
V - I - V - (V/Bb)
Verse 2: Bb - Eb - Bb - Eb - cm - F - dm - gm - Eb - Bb - F
Chorus 2:
Bb F
[Girl..you're]
Bb - Bb/A - Eb - cm - Eb - F
Bb - Bb/A - Eb - cm - Dsus4 - D
I - IV - ii - V/vi (V/V in C)
2nd Reprisal: G - C - E - F#
V - I - III (IV/B) - V [III is the chromatic mediant pivot used to modulate]
Chorus 3: B - B/Bb -E - c#m - E - F# (Repeat to fadeout)
Crazy People of the Day: While I was jogging, a old man made his hand into the shape of a gun and pretended to shoot me (with sound effects) and said, "Got ya!" Bizzare. Next, I was at a park and this homeless man that was waving an American flag at traffic came over to us. I think he called us assholes and commented to the old man on a bike behind us to "Run'em over. Put a tire up their ass." Bezerker.
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Tuesday, August 23, 2005
Moog
Robert Moog - rhymes with vogue - inventor of the synthesizer, has passed away on Sunday. His instruments have been featured on everything from The Beatles album, Abbey Road, to artists such as Yes, Pink Floyd, and later acts such as Nine Inch Nails, Sonic Youth, and Phish. Basically, if you're a musician, you know the word "Moog." And if you're a keyboardist, you use the word on a daily basis.
RIP
Crazy Person of the Day: Any person willing to put the word "Pink" in their band name.
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Thursday, August 11, 2005
Hosed Down
Current mood: shocked
Ok, I know I normally put the Crazy Person of the Day at the end of each blog, but not this time. This short entry is entirely devoted to today's lunatic. A nutzo that could very well be your next-door neighbor.
This morning, I got up and went for a jog. At about the 2 1/2 mile mark is where I make a turn and go up a ginormous hill. Some days I slowly jog up it as a challenge. Other days, I just don't want to deal with it and resort to walking. Well, today, I decided I would push myself. It's funny to see some of the looks I get from the passing cars, which are also having some difficulty driving up the hill. Some give me the look like, "What? Is this kid crazy?" Others, especially policemen and mailcarriers give me the "Are you sure you're okay?" look.
This time, I got about half way up. Everything was going good. Then, out of nowhere, I'm getting doused with water. I'm not talking about a little sprinkle. I mean, I was SOAKED. I turn my head and spot an old man spraying me down with a garden hose and laughing at me. Apparently, he was watering his lawn and thought I could use some cooling down.
I don't know how, but I managed to keep jogging. I didn't think it was very funny at all. I gave him the sarcastic "thanks alot" wave, and continued on my way.
So, yes, the Crazy Person of the Day is this psycho who thinks it's okay to hose people down whenever he feels like it. I'm jogging on the other side of the road tomorrow.
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Wednesday, August 10, 2005
New Mexico
Current mood: gloomy
Next Monday, August 15, we celebrate something called VJ Day. Well, we also celebrate it on September 2nd as well. You see, the first date, back in 1945 was when we celebrated victory over Japan in World War II. The September date was when Japan formally surrendered. I guess you don't have much choice when 2 atomic bombs are dropped on your country.
Some quick facts from the 2 bombings in case you didn't know: About 300,000 were killed / missing - most were killed instantaneously, but many also died from radiation exposure over the next few days, months and years; over 6 sq. miles of populous city space was leveled; the so-called reason for dropping the first bomb was to end the war and save an estimated 200,000 - 1 million American lives, which would have perished if they continued the war; there was no logical reason for dropping the 2nd bomb.
2 days after the 1st bomb hit Hiroshima, leaflets were dropped over Japan that read the following
"TO THE JAPANESE PEOPLE:
America asks that you take immediate heed of what we say on this leaflet.
We are in possession of the most destructive explosive ever devised by man. A single one of our newly developed atomic bombs is actually the equivalent in explosive power to what 2000 of our giant B-29s can carry on a single mission. This awful fact is one for you to ponder and we solemnly assure you it is grimly accurate.
We have just begun to use this weapon against your homeland. If you still have any doubt, make inquiry as to what happened to Hiroshima when just one atomic bomb fell on that city.
Before using this bomb to destroy every resource of the military by which they are prolonging this useless war, we ask that you now petition the Emperor to end the war. Our president has outlined for you the thirteen consequences of an honorable surrender. We urge that you accept these consequences and begin the work of building a new, better and peace-loving Japan.
You should take steps now to cease military resistance. Otherwise, we shall resolutely employ this bomb and all our other superior weapons to promptly and forcefully end the war."
The VERY next day, we dopped another bomb on Nagasaki. Talk about giving them a chance to surrender!
Anyway, going back to the testing of the first atomic bomb....It was first tested in a place called Trinity, New Mexico, on the White Sands Missile Range. After finding it on a map, I looked for how close the nearest substantial town that exists today. About 50 miles east from the the site of the test bombing is a town called Carrizozo, which has a little over 1,000 people. You can Click Here to visit the site for this town. It's funny to see how they make NO mention of the test bombing.
So, this coming Monday, and then again on September 2nd, we will celebrate our victory. Doesn't it seem gloatingly wrong to set aside 2 days (let alone 1 day) of celebration that we killed so many people, many of which were children and innocent civilians? Is it something to really be proud of? Maybe we should just look at it as something that worked out in our favor, saved many American lives, but wasn't necessarily the wisest option we could have asserted. It makes you wonder in amazement how the timing of atomic technology and the timing of a major war crossed paths as they did. What would have happened if the A-bomb wasn't discovered or couldn't be developed for another 10 years after 1945?
Well, I know this particular entry has probably been a boring blog. I don't know why I'm fascinated by the bombs. I guess I'm just bewildered at how we could make the decision to kill so many people in a split second. It kinda makes 9/11 look wimpy in some respects. True, terrorism sucks worse than war, but war also sucks.
Crazy Person of the Day: Me, for looking up and finding a website that shows a map of probably nuke targets for the eastern seaboard. It's the ONLY time I wish I was in Kansas or some other box state.
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Monday, August 08, 2005
Shuttle Explosion Delayed Until Tues.
Current mood: devious
I know a few people will probably think my heading was a little harsh, but come on. You KNOW this will probably be a record setting tune-in because people want to see if the thing blows up.
This event has all the makings of a Hollywood movie. And now, we get a chance to watch it unfold without spending $9.50 for a ticket. You have the first shuttle up since the Columbia disaster; another piece of insulation that falls from the shuttle during liftoff; other little anomolies; an adventurous, first ever space walk to repair a piece of filler, which if left alone could cause another disaster; sudden, cliffhanging delays because of weather....the list goes on.
Ok, to make things straight, I don't WANT it to explode. I'm just emphasizing that this will be on everyone's mind while watching it return. And if another disaster does occur, our space program will essentially be dead for a long time. Space exploration is cool, and we don't want that to happen. We wouldn't want all those billions of dollars that we basically pay for to go to waste.
Andy Rooney from 60 Minutes also brought about the point of how much money our overextended military spends on hundreds of war machines that we don't ever or will ever use. Since when could our government just throw around the word "billion" like it was nothing? Let's got back to that point and throw up our hands or make a hissy fit or something. Andy suggests that we cut back the budget and give the extra money to teachers. I guess that sounds fair, but if things were fair, we wouldn't have much to complain about. If things were fair, our 1st Amendment privilage would be as useless as a microphone at an Ashlee Simpson concert.
Anyway, back to the Discovery mission. With a name like that, I'd like to know all that was discovered on that mission. For all that time they weren't repairing their own folly, what did they actually do? What were the experiments? What did we learn? I think all they really discovered is how badly NASA sucks at making a shuttle launch safe. Come on, it's not rocket science!
Crazy People of the Day: Conspiracy theorists who say that the Columbia shuttle never really exploded and they are still up in space.
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Sunday, August 07, 2005
GasDaq
Current mood: infuriated
I have gas.
No, really. Back when gas was only $1.44 and 99/100 cents a gallon, I bought like a whole bunch of it and stored it in containers in my garage. I think it's illegal. Anyhow, since the lowest price anywhere near here is about $2.20, I'm selling. And I'm selling it a bit cheaper than those gas stations too. I call it The GasDaq. People are lining up at my house. I'm serious.
With the money I'm making, I'll invest it into alternate power vehicle companies. Screw oil. Screw the Middle East. And yes, I'll say it, screw Texas....and Alaska just for the fun of it. We don't need them anymore.
The conspiracy has lasted long enough. Just like the cures for diseases that we have but aren't making known to the public because pharmaseutical companies are making too much money with their expensive "treatments." Yeah, throw hospitals and HMOs in the mix too. This is bad. It's like Deep Throat pt. II. I think JFK was involved with it too and when he turned and threatened to go public with it, things got ugly.
On second thought, I don't even want the money. I'm going to make those millions and then put all the bills into a paper shredder. And whatever change I have I will melt down in a superheated vat. This will cause the biggest deflation in history. Now, milk will only be 75 cents like back in the day. Candy bars will be 5 cents. And champagne will flow like water. I will be The Inflator Eliminator. Mr. Gas Ex. The Oil Spoiler. The King of the Crusaders.
Alright, you called me on it. I don't have any gas.
Crazy Person of the Day: Jed from the Beverly Hillbillies
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Thursday, August 04, 2005
Relaxing Day at the Local Pool, Right?....WRONG
Current mood: sick
Every Tuesday and Thursday I work as a counselor at this summer program in my town. Thursdays we go to the local pool. All I basically have to do is swim around with them, have them follow the rules, and make sure nobody drowns. We usually just play tag or something of the sort.
Well, today's pool day started out very typical. The lifeguards there are very strict and use any chance they can get to blow their whistles. I guess it could get boring otherwise. But if a kid even looks like he's going to jump in from the side, or if someone's hanging on the ladder, or if someone's splashing too much, or if someone's running, the whistle comes out in full force. God forbid anybody loses their wristband in the pool - no one's allowed in the pool area without a wristband. So if someone finds one floating around, it becomes a big deal. One lifeguard will yell out, "Ok, everybody raise their wrists so we can find out who's missing a wristband." And of course, in my town, many people don't speak or understand English very well. So it's not uncommon to see confused faces when they see everybody raising their hands. Then they'll raise the wrong hand, thinking, oh we're just raising any old hand. It literally takes about 5 minutes to crack this mystery.
The guards also like to make announcements throughout the pool session. For instance, "Tomorrow the pool will be closed for a brief time period...", or "Attention everyone: It is now pouring outside and anyone who left their bike outside should bring it in so it doesn't get rusted."
After about an hour and a half, they blow that golden whistle again and make everyone get out of the pool. Once everyone is out, they make the announcement that everyone has to stand behind the green line. Once again, confusion. Eventually, hand gestures usually get the job done. At this point, one guard goes around the pool's edge to pick up any debris, like band-aids and small pieces of trash. Two other guards will also dive in from one end and do a spot check of the pool's bottom, looking for more debris.
We all became familiar with this routine by now. We even joked about how rediculous it seemed to be that meticulous over things. But it's probably just standard procedures and, hey, it won't hurt to be extra cautious to keep the pool clean.
Well, we may have thought it was a rediculous procedure until today. Usually, they'll just find tiny, insignificant items on the bottom, pick them up and toss them out of the pool. But today, we noticed some sort of commotion. You could tell that they were trying to keep it on the down low, too. Me and another counselor saw that they had to go get the Latex gloves out in order to retrieve something. Ut oh. They never had to do this before.
One of the guards dived down, got the item and then things got weird with this final announcement. "Attention everyone: Unfortunately, for your own saftey and health, we are going to have to close the pool down for the rest of the day due to something we have found at the bottom. We will have to flush the water and wait for the maintainance crew to arrive to remedy the situation. We apologize for any inconvenience."
As we were leaving, we tried to get the lifeguards to tell us what, exactly, they had found. Their reply was, "You don't need to know." We said, "Well, we were swimming in the pool. We do need to know." They said, "No, you don't."
Of course, we had a fairly good guess at what it was. We saw them throw the item and gloves into the garbage, but I don't think any of us wanted to look. I don't think I really wanted to know what it was anyway.
So, two showers later, here I am typing this blog. Next time you think you just have to worry about little kids peeing in the pool, think a little bit more creatively...and I'm sure you'll come up with what happened to me today.
Crazy Person of the Day: Ian Thorpe and whoever left that nasty surprise at the bottom of the pool today.
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Saturday, July 30, 2005
10th Planet
Current mood: cynical
Astronomers claimed to have found a 10th planet. It's beyond Pluto and bigger. Others dispute whether it should be considered an actual planet because there's a ton of objects orbiting out by the end of the solar system. Heck, back in 1930, when Pluto was discovered, people argued over whether it should be a planet or not because it was so dissimilar to the other 8 planets. Anyway, they've catalogued this new one as 2003UB313. Wow, I bet this will screw up that pnuemonic device kids memorize in school! It's all semantics to me. I don't really care if it's a planet or not. I won't live to see any thorough exploration of it.
I was hoping they'd name the new one Donald or Mickey, thereby starting a new trend.
Crazy People of the Day: The Internation Astronomical Union, responsible for officially determining whether something can be called a planet. I'd give my left nut to hear these discussions.
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Wednesday, July 27, 2005
Amish Amore
Current mood: thirsty
Just wanted to briefly say how I'm somewhat envious of the Amish lifestyle. I think I've become so addicted and excited about technology that I probably won't ever give it up. When you really think about it, all our little gadgets that make daily life easier aren't really all that important. Sure, life would be hell and everything would take 10 times longer to do. But in a way, periodically taking the time to think about these differences gives you some sort of clearer perspective on life. However, I do believe either way, we as humans take anything we do repeatedly for granted. I think we take electricity, communication, entertainment, toys, etc for granted, but I also think that the Amish would also lose a bit of the perspective by doing their daily tasks over and over. My point is that you need to see and experience (not just imagine) all or as many perspectives as you can in order to better realize or appreciate life. I know no one asks for the life they're given. We can't control the places we settle or the upbringing we have. We can't control the religion, mores, traditions, heritage or blood we are born with. But we do have a choice to venture away from "home" and explore the different viewpoints of the lives of various ideologies. Unfortunately, with the vastness of varieties that do exist, it's blatantly impossible to even skim the surface of half of them. But how could you not want to know what's behing these doors? How can you not be tempted to turn the doorknobs and take a peek inside as many as you can? Sure, you might not like what you see or you might not understand it, but you have two feet....you could just walk back home or to the next door. Not that I have any plans on becoming Amish - like I said, I'm too far gone - but I'm willing to research and listen. I'm willing to experience things I haven't tried before. I'm willing to listen to things I don't understand. I'm willing to make mistakes and learn. I'm willing to fall down because I know if life was too easy, it's no life at all. Ok, I guess I'm getting too philosophical, but there's a point in there. I'm not looking for the silver lining or Fountain of Youth. I'm just looking for whatever might be out there. I'm looking to find it, hold it in my hands for a while, and move on while taking a piece of it with me.
Crazy People of the Day pt. 2: Hermits
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Tuesday, July 26, 2005
Something Interesting
Current mood: nostalgic
Random interesting things in my life:
College Highlight: I once played a French percussion solo with piano accompaniment by Simone Ple where I used 21 different percussion instruments.
Worst Gambling Misfortune: I once sat right next to a person that won $25,000 on an electronic bingo machine.
Vacation Highlight: I once did a half-drunken backflip off a pirate ship in the Carribean Ocean.
"What Was I Thinking? Moment: I once ran through a busy intersection dribbling a soccer ball while yelling at cars through a megaphone.
Most "Pimpy" Moment: While I was a teenager, I once had my arms around two older women who were escorting me to their car. We drove to their house where I discovered that they were "exotic dancers" who worked at an "adult entertainment" business.
Brush With the Law: Backtalking a police officer when I told him off for flashing his highbeams in our eyes during a bad snowstorm. I said he could have killed me. He then proceded to tell me to get out of the car and gave me a long, nasty lecture.
Crazy Person of the Day: Frank Gorshin, who played the Riddler in the original Batman series on TV. An outfit THAT tight...he must have been crazy.
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Friday, July 22, 2005
Jaws
Current mood: sore
Ok. Just so you know, most of the time my memory is hazy at best. I forget names easily, I can't remember faces well, I forget a lot of precious childhood moments, and of course I can only remember stupid mundane things - although my version of these memories are probably very distorted anyway (it's kinda like when you play that game where you whisper a sentence down a long line of people to see if the last person says it the same).
So every few years, I tend to forget how badly the sun burns me if I stay out too long. Well, it's not that I forget. I mean I always tell people how white I am and how easy it is for me to get burned. But I guess it just becomes surreal or legendary in my mind.
It's been a few years since I've been to the beach, so when the option came up, I went for it. But of course, I didn't give the sun due consideration. I plainly underestimated it once again. First of all, I didn't put the lotion on before I got in the car. I got lazy and ignorant. The label even says, apply generously 1/2 hr. before you're exposed to the sun. Nope, I waited until I was out on the sand, already simmering from the car ride and slow walk down to the beach. I was probably already slightly burned by then anyhow.
I gooped it on, making sure to get everywhere evenly. Then, I went out into the water. The waves were violent. I think it was very borderline on whether they were going to close the beach. The lifeguards were only allowing a very small section for the few people that were crazy enough to battle the waves. And yes, I was one of them.
It's all about timing really. You have to wait for a slight break in the waves to swim out a little bit, past where they are breaking the most. Otherwise, you'll get slammed repeatedly. There were a few kids that got tossed around like ragdolls. Most of them eventually retreated back to their towels after a few minutes. And of course, there were all the others, mostly girls, standing way back where the water will just barely surround their feet. They had that look on their faces like they wanted so badly to enter the water, but couldn't get past the ferociousness of the sea. Sometimes a few of them would get too near and get pushed over on their back, while others run for their lives back to the dry sand.
I made it out to where it was fairly safe. You see, you want to be at a point where you have options. My 3 options were: ride the wave, dive under the wave, or just float above it. It all depends on where it's breaking in regard to where you're located. It was fun for a while. The trick is finding the right time to get back to shore without getting pounded.
I took a few breaks, but when I noticed a pack of "2-pieces" giggling by the water's edge, I decided it was time to go back in and show off a little.
I got out there and did my thing for a while. I really don't think anyone was impressed, but I pretended like I was the surf king anyway. And during my obnoxious display, I failed to get out at the right timing. BOOM I was slightly battered by a medium-sized wave. I was still standing. I tried to make out a confident chuckle although, I think it was more like a frightened chuckle. I scrambled around to see if I should either go back out and be safe or kick it in to high gear back to land. And in that moment as I pondered the choice, I froze as this towering body of water slammed into my face, knocking me backwards and into the ground underneath the water. My knee and leg were dragged across the rocky, jagged shards of broken seashells. Sand was entering places sand should not go. Salt water was being swallowed. Yes, I was finished.
I quickly crawled back to land, and stumbling, I regained my stance. Even after all that just happened, I still tried to walk confidently back to my towel. I didn't dare look down. I knew my knee was probably bleeding, I just prayed it wasn't gushing. My goal was to make it back, but not make it appear like I was defeated. Nope, I just had enough, that's all. I'm gonna take a break.
I was half-expecting the sun to kick my ass, but being double-teamed that day wasn't in any of my plans. In the car going home, I could feel parts of my skin already starting to sting from the sun, not to mention the sting of a hundred little scrape marks left from my dramatic stumble.
So, I've learned another lesson....well maybe just for another year or two. Sometimes, you just can't help history repeating itself.
Crazy Person of the Day: Me, but not because of sunburn or the fall. I wore this vintage Jaws t-shirt to the beach thinking it would be funny. Little did I know, a shark should have been the least of my fears.
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Friday, July 15, 2005
My Trip
Current mood: exhausted
Things of interest that I did in Oklahoma:
#1. I played golf for the first time. I even got to ride those cool golf carts. It turns out that I have a wicked drive. My putting isn't too bad either. My weakness is definitely technique, which can cause me to be wild, especially on the medium range shots. I think I shot a 113 on a 72 par. I almost made a birdie on one hole and wound up hitting par only twice. I know I've mocked golf before. It wastes a lot of land that could be used for other purposes. It's not a physical sport...more like a coordination sport, like billiards, darts, or bowling....unless you count carrying the golfbag, which I didn't even do. Anyway, it was surprisingly fun to play and I think I'll play again soon.
#2 . I ate sushi for the first time. I really didn't want to, but someone I know just became a sushi chef, and whenever there's a chance to do something new, I'm tempted to do it. Verdict: Not as bad as I thought, but I probably won't get it again any time soon. I got to sample many different kinds of rolls. Some where even cooked a little, one had chicken in it, and the others were fishy. One of the rolls had this red caviar on it too. Not too great tasting, but it was different and I'm glad I tried it.
#3. I held a police-issued tazer. It was cool. It had a laser on it too. My friend, who's a policeman, told me all about it. He even got tazered to see what it felt like. I'm sure if I'd asked him, he would have let me tazer him right there, but I probably couldn't do it. I'd feel too bad. And I sure as hell wasn't getting jolted. I'm afraid to get too near electrical outlets!
#4. I fed a goat. He ate the bark off of a twig I held in front of him.
Yep, that's it. I'm glad to be back. Oh and speaking of goats, come out to the next Shamra show this Friday, 7-15-05 at The Dancing Goat in South Orange, NJ at 8p. If you come, I'll even feed you a twig.
Crazy Person of the Vacation: Jay, the policeman who voluntarily got tazered.
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Sunday, June 26, 2005
OK
Current mood: rushed
I'm leaving for Oklahoma to visit family for a few weeks. I'm not sure if I'll be able to, but I'll try to write a blog or two while I'm away. I'll be back around July 11th, 3 days shy of Henry's birthday. He's the notable rhythm guitarist of the buzzing band, Shamra. Henry and I have been in the same band for just over 10 years now. That's crazy. Hey, while I'm away, visit Shamra at www.shamra.net.
Um...that's it. Wait..............yeah, that's it.
Crazy Person of the Day: A random Oklahoman.
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Saturday, June 18, 2005
Turtles, Caffeine, and Cell Phones
Current mood: contemplative
Ok, today brings us many missions; or myriad mindsets; or a menagerie of meaning; multifarious miscellaneousness; a manifold of mixes. Ok, let me close the thesaurus before I get out of hand with these alliterated, redundant synonyms.
A trifold of topics (last one I promise): reptiles, drug addiction, and the evolution of communication.
While I jog, I sometimes get snidbits of conversation from people I pass. Usually it's two people, and I'm able to get anywhere from a few words to a few sentences, depending on two factors: how fast I'm running and how fast they're speaking. Granted, on occasion, I will come across the lone person talking to him/herself. I find it fascinating that these people can do that. First of all, most people think this is a sign of insanity or weirdness. I think it's brilliant. If I wasn't so worried about what people think, I'd do it. For some reason, talking out loud to yourself is more stimulating and interesting. Most of the time, that little voice inside your head is sooo monotone that you could be at high risk of falling asleep - while your walking! Oh, and those people singing out loud when they're all alone on the street (in a car doesn't count)....that takes marbles the size of churchbells. I've even seen people take it a step further. I've seen people all alone, singing AND dancing on the sidewalk. Those people are in a weird way, my heroes.
Ok, I've done it again...back to my point. I was jogging today and as I passed two youngster leaving school, I overheard two self-redeeming sentences that relate to my previous blog, Dead Fish. I think one was holding a turtle and the other a fish in a bag. One of the kids said, "At least you can hold a turtle. You can't hold a fish." If you haven't read my Dead Fish blog from a few weeks ago, do so now.
I wanted to turn around and give the kid a hi-five, but I was afraid I might be getting a ride back to my house in a police cruiser. Picture a 9-yr. old kid getting approached by a running, beet-red-faced, sweating, scruffy guy with his hand raised up toward him. Yeah, that's why I didn't do it. I probably would also have made him drop the fish bag.
Topic 2: Yes, I am addicted to drugs. Well, a drug. Caffeine. I've recently read about how caffeine affects your body and now I'm trying get off it. The article said it's like a 3-5 day withdrawal with bad headaches, depression and many other annoying symptoms.
Let me try to quickly try to explain how caffeine works, from memory. First of all, it is extremely addictive and over 90 percent of Americans consume it every single day. It basically affects your body like a MILD dose of cocaine or heroin. When it enters the body, adenosine receptors (responsible for grabbing adenosine, which makes you sleepy) grab caffeine because it looks like adenosine. Because the receptors grab all the caffeine, they can't see the sleepy stuff, therefore cells speed up, blood vessels constrict (which is why headaches are relieved), and increased neuron firing in the brain. The brain thinks it's an emergency. It releases adrenaline, which causes a plethora of more stimulating symptoms. Dopamine, the chemical that stimulates your pleasure center (no, not sex, but sex releases dopamine too, which is why both caffeine and sex can be addictive) is released. Once the caffeine starts to wear off, you become really fatigued, depressed, achy, etc. Which is why your body either subconciously or consiously wants more caffeine - thus continuing the horrible cycle.
Ok, that was too long. I guess I remembered a lot. Anyway, they say caffeine, or at least too many mgs of it is bad for you. Thus, I am trying to kick the habit and be in the 10 percentile of Americans. Plus, I'll feel less like a conformist, which is basically me in a nutshell. Although, I can sometimes outwit myself and try to be anti anti-conforming, which would just make me like everyone else again. But at least in my mind, I feel like I've put some effort into it. And now that I'm trying this break of habit, I've realized how many things have caffeine in it! I accidentally drank some today and ruined my 2-day streak. I had Sobe's No Fear Super Energy Supplement drink. I'm so dumb. On the back it even says, and I'm not kidding: Not recommended for children, pregnant women, or people sensitive to caffeine. So, back to square one.
And lastly, cell phones. I'll make this short. I think people use cell phones too often. True, our advancement in technology and communication has made our world a safer place. But I hesitate in thinking it has made our world a happier place. Maybe it is easier to talk to mom, who lives in Florida now. Maybe it's kinda cool to have the convenience to talk to people whenever you want without having to find a grimy phonebooth and choke up 35 cents or whatever the charges are now (shows you how long I've stayed away from these bacteria traps). But has it made our world a happier place overall?
Do 10-yr old kids really need to be taking cell phones to school? If I recall, generations have made it through the day without having a portable phonebooth in their pocket. And generations weren't afraid to walk 5 miles home in the snow without shoes because they couldn't make a phone call.
And worst of all: The master of disaster. The devil of all acoustics. The breaker of all things peaceful. RINGTONES. Just google the word ringtone, and you'll see how obsessed we've become. Well, the least I can say is that at least Beethoven isn't rolling around in his coffin AS MUCH now that there are more ringtones....or as a professor once described him..."decomposing." Har Har.
Go ahead ask me. Yes, I do have a cell. I hate using it. And when I do use it and call other people's cell phones, I usually get their voicemail. So basically, it's just as bad as cell phones not existing, perhaps more annoying. Also, sometimes I'll be out of range OR I'll get choppy signal from the person on the other end, OR the battery will die or be dead. I'm sure this happens to everyone. I have no ringtones. I always use vibrate. I like the unexpected mini-message I get. So, in summary, until we can somewhat perfect this technology, I won't wear the gigantic foam #1 hand with the words "cell phone" on it. It seems America likes to rush technology on the market to exploit our "right here, righ now" mentality. So I don't expect a product ever to come out without many little annoying bugs. And we need cell phone laws. When this many people have them and are using them in annoying ways (like in a quiet restaurant or in school or in church, in the movies [God, I'm sick of those turn off your cellphone announcements - if you have to be told, you shouldn't have a cell in the first place]) there needs to be some laws to control our insensitive behavior.
What have we learned today? Turtles are superior, caffeine is the anti-Christ, and I hope frequent cell phone use does cause cancer....ok, I went too far, just kidding about that last one. But if you own a pet fish, consume caffeine every day, AND overuse your cell, why not take this time to heed my 1-step solution to eliminating all 3 of these nasty indignations: the toilet.
Crazy Person of the Day: You, if you've successfully read through this entire blog without slightly agreeing with me.
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Wednesday, June 15, 2005
Skin Grafting
Television is dangerous sometimes. For example, one day I was flipping around the channels. I don't normally watch much television, but it can be relaxing at times - I usually watch Jeopardy!, reruns of Seinfeld, an occasional episode of Cops, those extreme/amazing videos shows, and of course the news - but back to my blog. I'm a fairly fast flipper. I pride myself in having the ability to determine whether a channel is interesting or not in about .346 seconds...on average. But I have an unusual quirk. I'll flip fast for a while, but then I'll randomly stop on a channel and give it an extended evaluation. If it doesn't hook me in those 5 or so seconds, I off and running again.
Oh, and let's not forget commercials - the evil nemesis of any couch potato. I have no patience for them. True, some of them have managed to be funny, but in the end, their the devil. I'm proud to boast about my high skill of finding a heirarchy of 3 different channels that I will watch at any given time, flipping between them during commercials. You see, with 2, you run the risk of having commercials on both channels. And while the average Joe Potato might throw his hands up and scream, "How is that possible? It figures! Now what am I supposed to do?" I, on the other hand took the process a step further with what I call, the The 3-Step Sidestep." Give it a try, but be forewarned beginner potatoes: it's not an easy task.
Ok, please, now. Let me get back to my blog. Where was I? I think I was flipping and then I randomly stopped on a channel. That channel was the Discovery Health channel. I happened to stop there long enough to see something that made my stomach literally vibrate with fear. It was a surgery with a guy's face completely removed!!! How the hell can they show that in the middle of the day?? After I picked myself off the floor, and scambled to change the channel, I couldn't believe what I just saw. It was tattooed on my brain. A faceless head. It was worse than most horror films I had seen.
Now I understand surgeries of this nature take place. The doctors who perform these things are true heroes. Reconstruction of the body takes a lot of skill. Perhaps more skill than the 3-Step Sidestep. And don't get me wrong, it is interesting. But when you aren't prepared for what might pop onto the screen next, it can be a shocking experience. You know? I mean, I was flipping through things like Blue's Clues and Philsbury Doughboy commercials, and then a faceless head!!!!
On a similar note...recently I was surfing the channels again and came up to the Discovery Health channel again. Lo and behold, I witnessed a machine that doctors were using to graft the skin off of a man in order to place it over his severe burns. It was like a cheese slicer! After that, they take this rectangle of skin and press into another machine which turns it into a mesh so it can stick onto the damaged area. Geez!! The story of the poor guy was that he was on fire and tried to stop, drop, and roll. But when he rolled, the carpet melted onto his skin. They don't teach you these sort of what-if's in school. Like, maybe, you shouldn't stop, drop, and roll if there's broken glass all on the floor. Or maybe, [Insert your own what-if's here].
Well, for all you blog readers out there who also like to watch tv, I give you this blog-warning. You may be able to master the elusion of commercials. You may be able to get a grasp of the 3-Step Sidestep. You may even be able to program a TiVo. But no matter how prepared you may think you are, the faceless man just might come to haunt YOU one day.
Crazy Person of the Day: Hannibal Lecter.
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Friday, June 10, 2005
Beechy
Current mood: discontent
When the sun is beaming and the marshmallow clouds are drifting by, I have a strong desire to be outside to enjoy the inherent optimism it brings. I'm 100 percent sure that when it's sunny out, people's spirits are much higher. I think I've read somewhere that there is a direct corellation of high suicide rate and places that have higher than average rainy/cloudy days.
Anyway, to break up my cycle, I decided to go for a bike ride instead of a jog today. I opened my garage and retrieved my bike, which was covered with a fine layer of green pollen. Of course, I must do the spider check. It seriously takes me about 2 full minutes to be satisfied that there aren't any creepy crawlies lurking about.
After the inspection, I set off down the sidewalk. When I go jogging, I usually walk up to the end of my block where I like to pet this cute dog. I've even developed a routine. As I'm approaching the gate, I start to jingle my house keys. She's come to associate the jingling with me and gets all excited now. I never once spoke to the owners, so I eventually gave her my own nickname. I thought about Pavlov, but it was too obvious. So, I called her Beechy because I live on Beech St. and she also has sandy-colored hair.
Anyway, as I approach the house on my bike, I dig into my pocket and get my keys. I start jingling them but notice that she didn't come to the gate. She's normally always out at this time, but I thought perhaps it was too hot today. I finally reach the gate and I notice a flyer that had been posted: LOST DOG.
Oh nooo! Not my Beechy! I was absolutely crushed! I knew then, my mission was to search high and low all over this town for my friend. I grabbed my cell and saved the phone number that was posted in case I did indeed find her. It was also revealed that her true name was Amber.
Off I went on my bike, jingling my keys every so often. I felt so confident that I'd find her somehow, despite the odds. I began asking anyone I came across if they had seen a stray with her description. Finally, a crossing guard gave me my first lead. She said she did see a dog yesterday at a certain location in town. It took her a while, but finally she gave me the intersection. I quickly thanked her and pedaled down the street, still jingling my keys.
I slowly came to a stop at the aforementioned intersection. I was feeling hopeless at that point and then I looked up. On the telephone pole was the same flyer I saw earlier about Beechy. And right below that flyer was another one that read: FOUND It also had a picture of the found dog, but it wasn't quite Beechy. It was a very similar looking dog, but definitely not Beechy. This could have been the dog that the crossing guard saw.
I took a turn down the intersection all the way to the edge of town. I thought I'd try my luck at the park. Dogs like open spaces. Maybe she was there. No luck. The day was wearing thin, and the sun truly took a beating on me. I had to return home empty-handed and heartbroken.
Tomorrow morning, I will take my car around town again to see if I can find her. I'll also check with the local animal shelter to see if they've found her. So if anyone lives in or near Kearny, NJ, be on the lookout for a medium-sized, sandy-colored female dog, possible a mutt of some sort, who either responds to Amber, Beechy, or the jingling of keys.
Crazy Person of the Day: Alex Trebek. Sometimes the things he says when he's talking with the players on Jeopardy! after the first commercial break lead me to believe that he is nothing but completely insane.
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Monday, June 06, 2005
I Rode a Camel
Current mood: accomplished
True story. I rode a camel today. His name was Lenny. I was laughing the whole time. I thought to myself, "I can't believe this! I'm riding a friggin' camel!" I sat right on it's hump. It didn't feel too comfortable, but the absurdity of the situation numbed all physical sensations.
A few years ago, I wrote on my To Do Before I Die List that I wanted to ride a camel or elephant. I'll tell you, it keeps me motivated to get off my ass and do crazy things! I totally work better with lists for some reason, otherwise I become a procrastinator.
Granted, I still haven't streaked like I promised. I think I need more people to talk me into it. Like if someone bet me I wouldn't do it, maybe that would push me over.
Anyway, back to the camel. Lenny was quite docile. Didn't say too much. He had horrible hygiene too. His teeth were crazy bad! And even though the place was littered with camel doo doo, which he was carelessly stepping in, things didn't smell as bad as I thought they would. Speaking of the poop, I also noticed these birds were coming down and eating it. Pretty disgusting.
Now I have to search for a place to ride an elephant. Suggestions would be appreciated, and please...no "mom jokes."
Crazy Person of the Day: The guy cleaning up camel poop with a rake. What a job!
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Saturday, June 04, 2005
Foreign
Current mood: confused
Why do many people think I look Scandinavian?
Crazy People of the Day: People who think I look Scandinavian.
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Friday, May 27, 2005
Dead Fish
Current mood: apathetic
I always found it strange to have a fish as a pet. My first problem with it is that you can't "pet" it. I'm sure the word "pet" came from what people commonly did to their domesticated animals back in the dust age. It's also a very short word and we Americans love short words.
Dogs, cats, hamsters, gerbils, mice, birds, even reptiles....you can pet. Fish are awkward to pet though. I suppose if you really wanted to, you could dip your hand into the tank and try to rub the slimy creature with your finger, but chances are that the fish will either A) be frightened and swim into it's stupid plastic castle or sunken pirate ship you gullibly thought it would like or B) try to bite you because your finger looks like the biggest worm they've ever seen.
Which leads me to another problem. Fish are not affectionate. They don't cuddle up next to you, they don't purr, they don't change expressions on their face, and they don't bring in the paper for you. This is probably why God thought they'd make good food. I mean, really. What would Jesus do if He came back and saw that you had fish as pets?
Ok, so the reason for this blog: I had a fish for a while. Not really by choice. It was a goldfish. Didn't even have a name. I refused to give it a name. Naming a fish is dumber than a box of rocks. Will it respond when you say, "Come here, Petey!" No.
For the last several months, the fish was swimming upside down. The first time I saw this, he was just floating there and I thought he was dead. YAY!! I started to get the little net and was going through in my head the whole process of removing that useless tank off the kitchen counter to make room for other utensils. As soon as I uncovered the lid, he started swimming. Damn!
This process went on for a while. You would think I'd learn after the 5th, 6th, 20th time! Every day, I'd go into the kitchen, see that fish upside down, and for a split second, think "He's dead!" Oh no. He's not. It's like when your electricity goes out in your house. You run to the room where the flashlight is, and what do you do? You try to flip on the lights. Seconds later, you go to use the bathroom, and what do you do? You try to flip on the lights. You go into the kitchen and think to yourself, "I could go for a piece a toast." Go to use the toaster....just smack yourself on the head already.
Anyway, the fish was getting worse. His belly was starting to bulge and he had trouble staying afloat. Oh great, now not only was he upside down, but now he sunk to the bottom too. I'll tell you, fish are useless, but this guy perfected playing dead!
He was a fighter....a survivor though. I gave him a few days to live. He lasted MUCH longer than that. I started to respect the guy. Here he is in this stupid little tank, with those ugly flouroscent pebbles at the bottom and a plastic green seaweed decoration. I'm sure he felt right at home. I eventually cleaned out his tank and removed the plastic decoration (because he was getting stuck in it from his inability to navigate efficiently). Every time he was fed, I noticed that even in his poor disposition, he still managed to find a way to eat those soggy flakes.
This brings us to today. I go into the kitchen and notice he's on his back at the bottom like he always is. I tap on the glass - this is what I've come to call the "Death Checker." Usually he'll start moving a little bit and flipping his little fins to try to get up. This time, he was motionless. I tapped harder....nothing.
He's finally dead. I debated for a while whether to flush him or bury him. Not wanting to go through all the trouble, I sided with the toilet. But as he lie in that net dangling over the porcelain bowl, I made a nice gesture. I reached my finger down, stroked him on the head, and said, "Goodbye, pet."
Crazy Person of the Day: Any person that buried their fish today.
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Wednesday, May 25, 2005
Christmas in May
Since it's May and totally inappropriate to talk about Christmas, I thought I'd talk about Christmas. I'm the first to admit that my memory is pretty bad. This completely sucks, because I'm really a sentimental kind of guy. I wish I could have someone tell me all the cool things I've forgotten from when I was younger. Anyway, not to get off track....
I do have a good memory to share and it's about this one Christmas many years ago. I guess I was around 6 or so at the time. Me and my brother were asleep, eagerly anticipating that magical moment when you awake on Christmas morning. This particular morning, we didn't wake up before our parents. They didn't wake us up by yelling up the stairs either, which was sometimes common. Nope.
Instead, we both woke up because my dad had turned the downstairs television up really loud. But it wasn't a TV show blaring or newscasters rambling. It wasn't cartoons and it wasn't a commercial. It was the bleeps and bloops of Pac-Man from the one and only Atari 2600.
After recognizing the sounds, me and my brother raced downstairs to the sight of my parents with joysticks in their hands, gobbling up the hundreds of dots on the screen... whacka, whacka, whacka. Then, bee-ooo-be-ooo, wooo, wooo wooo (eating the power pellet and chasing the ghosts).
It was so amazing! I'll never forget that memory.
Anyway, there are several emulations of Pac-Man on the internet. I've found one of them here: Click Here for Pac-Man!
See if you can beat my high score of 135,340, level 16.
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Tuesday, May 24, 2005
Fell Off My Chair Today
Current mood: nauseated
I fell off my chair today. But let me explain. Ok. It was your average day off. No work today. Had some errands to run later in the day, blah blah. I get on the computer. Check some email, check the news, weather, blah blah.
Every so often, I'll just Google random words or search for mundane answers to stupid questions I have. Somehow, I started searched for those rating sites. You know, the sites where you post your pictures and members rate your appearance. It seems that we've become a generation that likes to compare every little thing we see. We're obsessed with it. I mean, really. Haven't YOU ever started a sentence with, "Ok, on a scale from 1 to 10..."
I noticed in my search that there are quite a few things that people like to rate. For instance, people like to rate: specific body parts, teachers, lawns, cars, tattoes, thongs. There even was a site that lets you rate mullets! I am not shitting you.
Speaking of the devil, there was one site that left me in complete, utter disbelief. The site was ratemypoo.com. There's no way people would....nahhh. This must be a joke. And with a click of a mouse button, I fell off my chair.
It was the most vile, disgusting picture I had ever seen! It's branded on my poor brain! I am scarred. The fall to the ground was accompanied with lots of shouting and groaning and even some dry heaving. It was very difficult getting back to my computer. Strangely, it was exactly like the OPPOSITE of good cleavage: you know it's there, but you DON'T want to glance at it.
I wound up just hitting the power button on my computer. I know that's a cardinal "no no." But trust me, I would have thrown the monitor right through the window if I wasn't at all thinking in that moment.
So my advice to you Googlers and websearchers: Be careful in your online ventures. Sometimes a link of the spider's web breaks and you fall into a dark, dark place that can invoke damages not even your quick reflexes can repair.
Crazy Person of the Day: ANYONE who has posted a pic on the aforementioned website or ANYONE who has actually rated poop.
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Monday, May 16, 2005
Hear Me Sing
Current mood: good
Ok, I posted it. Click Here to hear it. I know I can't sing very well and yes, I will stick to the drums, but it was kinda fun to do. Makes me laugh.
Crazy Person of the Day: Well it was actually yesterday, but it was tie between two foreign guys at the International Food Festival in NYC speaking in horrible accents. One was yelling, "JERK CHICKEN!!!!" and the other was chanting, "Lemonade...$1, $1, $1." I snapped some pics of both of them and I'll be posting them soon.
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Thursday, May 12, 2005
Hear Me Sing...Oh God.
Current mood: creative
Yes, that's right. I will be posting a song I recorded. It won't be completely in tune. The quality will be terrible. And the music will definitely be sub-par. But, it shall be interesting at least. I've recorded most of it today using my MP3 player as the mic for everything. It's more like a scratch demo. Anyway, keep an eye out for it soon.
Crazy Person of the Day: Jade199 290, who called me today. I don't know who he/she is but that's what it said on the Caller ID. Could someone call it and tell me who this person is? The number is 206-415-8503. Ask them why they are trying to call Bob.
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Tuesday, May 10, 2005
82 Years Old
Current mood: rejuvenated
Today, at one of my lessons, I met an interesting lady. She was actually the grandmother of my student. I always feel shocked at the way older folks percieve life. In a way, it's refreshing. She was upbeat, smiling, and had nothing but compliments for me.
We only briefly spoke, but it left an impact on me. We somehow got on the topic of how old I was and I, as always, added "...but I look a lot younger than that." She said, "Ohh, you're still just a baby. I'm 82."
I never know how to respond to statements like that (which would explain a lot about my poor communication skills). So, I blurted out, "I hope I get to live that long!"
I thought for a moment, "Was that a mean thing to say? I didn't mean to gawk over how old she was." But before I could linger on it, she quickly came back with, "You will."
At that moment, a calm came over me. It was like she wasn't assuming or guessing I'd actually live to be 82. The look in her eyes said she KNEW I was going to. I felt like she was a prophet or something. It felt good. All I could do was stand there smiling, but at the same time dumbfounded.
I guess this was a shock to me because ever since I was around 10 or so, I had a strong feeling that I was going to die young....sometime in my late 20's. It was a thought that ran through my mind at least once a week up until this very day. Yet now, I feel as if that weight has been lifted. Holy crap! I'm going to live to be old!!!!
Crazy Person of the Day: Dave, who was working in the Wal-Mart Electronics department today. I have a keen ability to pick out people who are in a band. He was easy to spot: long hair, black heavy metal shirt, pentagram rings, and earings. Dave is the lead singer of a band called Speed Chamber. We got to talking because he had a problem with my purchase and needed a manager. I went to his band's site: www.speedchamber.com when I got home. He said I could get his e-mail and other info there. When I got there, the site said "New Website Coming Soon." Dave, you are crazy. Anyway, I'll be checking the site every day until it's up. ;-)
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Monday, May 09, 2005
My Birthday
Current mood: crushed
Yep....for my birthday today: Some cards, 1 e-card, $30 from my parents, 0 phone calls, 0 presents, and a headache to boot. Yipee. I'm glad to be alive. Let's celebrate.
You see, this is why I play it down. If I don't get excited about it, I can't be disappointed. I'm glad I told everyone I don't care. I know it's pathetic. And it's not about getting gifts or money....it's more about my inability to connect with people in such a way that makes them want to celebrate with me. I'm such an ass. Maybe this year I'll try to make some friends.
But I promise, this is the last you'll hear me be this depressing. Tomorrow = Back to Funny Blogman Day....because there are only 2 things I can depend on: crappy birthdays and Crazy People of the Day.
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Thursday, May 05, 2005
Dannon Follow-up
Current mood: confused
As promised - here is Dannon's response. My only question is: Why do they even bother with e-mail contact if they're just gonna give you a phone number?
------------------
Dear Mr. XXXXXXX,
Thank you for your recent contact with The Dannon Company Consumer Response Center.
We would like to have an opportunity to speak with you directly. Please
give us a call on our toll-free number, 1-877-DANNON-US (1-877-326-6668), Monday through Friday, 9 A.M. to 6 P.M. Eastern Time.
Thank you for your interest in Dannon. We look forward to speaking with you
soon.
Sincerely,
Lisa Moore
Consumer Service Representative
Crazy Person of the Day
Ref..:677798
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Sunday, May 01, 2005
May
Current mood: melancholy
May is here. Next week is my birthday. I will probably get some money from the family, a small gift or two, maybe an unthoughtful E-card and a few obligatory phone calls from people I haven't heard from in weeks. Sounds nice, doesn't it?
I almost dread it. I can't remember the last time I actually enjoyed my birthday. Oh well. Those are my thoughts for today. I know: not funny. What happened to Funny Bob? I'm not sure, but I'll put up flyers around town. Maybe I'll use the money from my birthday as the reward for finding him.
Crazy Person of the Day: Anyone that sees my flyers and actually attempts to find Funny Bob.
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Sunday, April 24, 2005
Follow-up to Mold
Current mood: irritated
Here is the copy of the e-mail I sent Dannon. I will post their response as soon as I get it.
I opened some Dannon Fruit on the Bottom Blueberry Yogurt. The expiration date was the day before, but I thought it might still be good. Inside, I noticed a small, dark, round "object" right on top. I seriously couldn't tell if it was a blueberry chunk or mold. It took me a few minutes, but I eventually got frustrated and bit into it. Luckily, it was a blueberry. I was a little upset that I bought Fruit on the Bottom Yogurt and got Fruit on the Top Yogurt.
..1. Is it common for "defects" like this to occur in your products?
..2. Does the nutrition of Dannon products change as it ages or if the expiration date passes and mold sets in?
Crazy Person of the Day: That lady who planted the finger in her own bowl of chili at Wendys.
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Giant Carrots
Current mood: thoughtful
I have an idea. It's a salad bar. Well, actually it's a salad bar and a bar where you can get drinks. And the salads wouldn't be in those communual tables either. It would kinda be like how subway makes sandwiches, except the person makes you a salad.
And all around the walls would be cage-like wiring. On the floor would be straw....almost like a barn. I was thinking, maybe we could put a few treadmills around the place, next to the jukeboxes. Or maybe there would be a DJ. Anyway, it could be a new craze. Patrons would set the treadmill at the tempo of the song and then dance while they're on it.
And for the kicker....I would have gigantic water dispensers on the walls of the cage. I'm not so sure people would be so quick to realize that they're being treated like a small, furry pet. There can even be tubing around the place for kids to crawl around in. I think it would be very hip.
Crazy Person of the Day: You, if you think this is at all feasible.
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Saturday, April 16, 2005
mold
Current mood: infuriated
Just a quick note. I was eating some Dannon Fruit on the Bottom Blueberry Yogurt. The expiration date was yesterday. I opened the yogurt and noticed a small, dark, round "object" right on top. I seriously couldn't tell if it was a blueberry chunk or mold. It took me a few minutes, but I eventually got frustrated and bit into it. Luckily, it was a blueberry. I will write Dannon a letter about this later. I am very upset that I buy Fruit on the Bottom yogurt and end up getting Fruit on the Top yogurt. I'm steaming mad.
Crazy Person (and things) of the Day: Mr. Dannon and his mechanical yogurt processing plants that don't deliver what the label says.
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Cookie Monster
Current mood: frustrated
As a kid, I watched Sesame Street. Even at a young age, I was very keen to details. Fortunately, my perception of reality never interfered with imagination. I say this because as I gazed at Cookie Monster - one of my favorite characters - I took notice of how he dined on his cookies.
Cookie Monster was a bit crazy, but that's what made him fun. His obsession with cookies was his thing. So as he shoved the cookie into his puppet mouth, I noticed that all the portions and crumbs just trickled right out onto the floor. HE WASN'T EVEN EATING THE DAMN COOKIE!
Being that young, I was at first excited that I wasn't tricked by the illusion of adults. Then, I became somewhat disappointed. I thought, he's really not eating the cookies. He's really not a cookie monster. Someone's trying to pull a fast one on us kids. Anyway, couldn't Sesame Street figure out a way to get the cookies into a hole in his mouth?? Then, I just let the whole thing go, but of course every time I saw Cookie Monster, I thought about these things... briefly.
And now, I notice that the Monster has made it back into the spotlight. It appears that Sesame Street wants to campaign this blue character as a more health-aware monster. So now, he'll be eating healthy items as well as a moderate amount of cookies.
Well, you know what?! He still doesn't have a hole in his mouth. So it doesn't matter what he shoves in his mouth...it's just going to fall out. Which makes me wonder: How the hell DOES he eat?
Crazy Person of the Day: The puppeteer for Cookie Monster.
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Sunday, April 10, 2005
DQ
Current mood: hyper
I was at a Dairy Queen earlier today. I noticed they had the nutritional information on the wall. Recently, I watched the documentary Super Size Me, in which some guy decides to eat McDonalds for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and learn the effect it has on his body.
Most people would be shocked at the results...which of course was bad. Most people would try to make some sort of effort to eat fast food less and be more careful about what they eat.
I scanned the nutritional chart for the item with the most calories. Thus, I continued and ordered the winner: a Large Chocolate Malt. 1320 calories. I must also mention that a Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Blizzard was also tied for first place.
I drank the 1320 calories in about 10 minutes. It would have been less if it weren't for brain freeze.
The best part about this experience was the look on the skinny cashier's face behind the glass when I was scanning out loud for the most caloric item. By the way, what's the deal with that thick glass anyway? It looks like a bank! Do they have ice cream robberies or something?
Anyway, the Large Chocolate Malt was good. I later burped up some of it, and it still tasted good. I'd say I got my $4.15 worth, especially when I got to retaste it a few more times in the follow-up burp-ups. Mmmm. Next time I visit DQ, I'll get the Large Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Blizzard.
Crazy Person of the Day: Me, because someday I will make a documentary called "Something Different" on fast-food dessert places, where I eat Dairy Queen for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and post my results.
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Monday, March 14, 2005
The List
Current mood: creative
Ok. So I have this list in my head of things I haven't done. Things that I would like to do just to experience life in new ways. For instance, I'd like to skydive someday. Another item on my list is something of a fad that has faded out a while ago, which is to streak in a public place. I'm planning on doing it sometime soon. It will require an elaborate plan. I know I'll have to do it late at night - don't want the chance of any small children being scarred for life. I'll also have to select a location. I was thinking maybe by the local newspaper office or inside a fast food restaurant. I'll also have to have a point of drop-off from a car, a set route to streak, and a quick getaway. I'll start working on the details and I'll post my results after it happens. This should be fun and entertaining! ... plus I'll knock off an item on my list. ;-)
Crazy Person of the Day: Do I really have to tell you?
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Thursday, December 30, 2004
Derek
Current mood: distressed
I almost got drafted to the Yankees tonight. Let me explain.
I drove to the local Target to buy a humidifier. As I was searching for a parking spot, I found one next to this nice, brand new Cadillac. Whenever I exit my vehicle, I always check the front of the car to see how close I pulled in to the car in front of me. It's sort of like a game - to see how close I can get without hitting it. I notice that, although I did not hit the car, the plastic framing of our license plates were touching. I was debating whether this was as close as I could get, or if it was a violation of my game.
Anyhow, there was a person loading a bunch of stuff into the Caddy that was parked next to me. I noticed he was staring at me, wondering what the hell I was doing. I become slightly embarassed and started walking to the entrance, but I looked back at him. Hey, it's Derek Jeter from the Yankees! I'm not the type to gawk over celebrities, but it was kinda funny.
As we made eye contact, he yelled over to me, "Hey, I like your parking accuracy!" I walked over explaining my dilemna of if I violated the game or not by touching license plates. He replied, "If a pitcher grazes a batter, it doesn't really count as being hit by a pitch." We then briefly exchanges some banter about my baseball talent and he wanted to see me in action, mentioning something about how the team was looking to draft some unknown talent as a publicity stunt for the team.
Alright, I confess...the whole last paragraph was fabricated. Sorry. But I really did see him in the Target parking lot. I wonder if he picked up a humidifier as well.
Crazy Person of the Day: Whoever is responsible for not drafting me to the Yankees as a publicity stunt....because, damn, it would have made my story so much better.
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Friday, December 24, 2004
Electricity Scares Me
Current mood: embarrassed
This happened a few days ago:
It was your average night. I was seated at my computer, not unlike how I am right now. Out of the silence erupts this massive, low humming noise, following by a flash from the window behind me. Suddenly, my computer screen shuts off and I'm in the dark. All power in the house is briefly cut off, then comes back on again.
My reactions in those few seconds the power was out: Holy Hell! It's dark!!! I'm afraid of the dark. Mommy! Shut up...you're a grown adult now. Ok. I'm calm now. I'll just go find a flashligh....ahhh the power's back on.
Alright...it was just a brown out. But what in the world was that noise and flash. In the back of my mind, knowing my luck, I had this crystal clear image of the transformer in front of my house exploding causing a live wire to break loose and fall down on top of my car igniting it to certain total destruction.
I peer out my blinds and carefully investigate the surroundings. I notice nothing out of the ordinary. So I squint (because everyone knows that when you squint, you suddenly see things better) and gaze up at where the transformer is. I notice that on one of the wires there appears to be some sort of glowing or burning, intense greenish light. Could my preminition be coming true?? I slide down to the next window to get a different angle only to see the same thing. I also now notice that practically everyone on the block is on their cordless phones hanging halfway out there front door looking around.
I thought to myself that I could be the only one noticing this burning wire up on the pole - this wire that could at any point, fall and swing down on top of my car igniting it to certain total destruction. I quickly grab my phone and flip open the phonebook to call the town police about this serious situation. The gruffy policeman listened intently to my sincere description. After giving him my address, he reassured me that the appropriate measure will be taken.
The genius that I am....while I'm waiting for them to arrive, I figured I'd go outside and get a closer look. I cautiously leave my front door and start walking to the street. As I slowly approach, I notice the place on the wire where it was burning was no longer there. I back up slightly and find that it reappears. I squint again (of course to get a better look) and notice that the burning section of wire was actually just a small piece of metal or bracket of some sort reflecting some green Christmas lights my neighbors had put up.
As reality sunk in and complete, utter embarassment took over, something else catches my attention - the flashing red lights of a firetruck headed down my street. I dash back inside my house, flip off all the lights, and start praying that no one rings my doorbell to confirm anything. At this point, I'm laughing nervously to myself. I peer out the blinds one last time to catch the firemen shining their flood light up at the telephone pole and wires. Soon after, the truck slowly pulls away.
I think I will end with saying...uh...what can I say...um..Better safe than sorry? oops!
Crazy Person of the Day: I stubbornly refuse to accept this award. I shall pass the honor over to my neighbor, whose poor house is blanketed by no more than a gazillion Christmas lights and who probably caused this brown out by trying to add even more lights, leading me to make a simple mistake. I plead temporary stupidity.
3:37 AM - 1 Comments - 1 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove
Sunday, November 07, 2004
suds
Current mood: amused
Quick story - Ran out of dishwasher soap today. Didn't want to clean by hand, so I decided that concentrated liquid dish soap should do the trick. I poured a good amount into the holder, turned it on, and left the room, thinking I've avoided manual labor. YAY.
I returned a little while later to witness soap suds gushing out of the dishwasher and a nice pool of water collecting on the kitchen floor. Not only did I have to clean up the mess, the dishes weren't even clean because I had to stop the cycle early. GRRRRR I might try laundry detergent next.
Crazy Person of the Day: Whoever dropped me on my head when I was a baby.
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Friday, November 05, 2004
Balls
Current mood: nostalgic
For those of you that don't know, I substitute teach every once in a while. Recently, while I was subbing in the high school level, one of my instructions was to have the class read aloud part of a chapter from their Chemistry textbook. I also had to make sure everyone got a chance to read.
I knew the class fairly well and I knew who the good kids and who the smartasses were in the room. As I call randomly on students to read, I usually scan the paragraph(s) to get a head start on anything I might have to explain. Things were going fine at this point.
Then I call on the one student (good kid or smartass? - you decide in moment). He begins reading. I scan ahead and notice that I made a terrible mistake. (It figures!) I notice that the word "balls" was being used quite frequently in some sort of chemistry example that the textbook was trying to explain.
So there I am, thinking and debating to myself: Is this kid gonna read this without the giggles? Surely, I thought to myself, he wouldn't do that. He's too old for that kinda nonsense. Then I began to ponder my school days, where we'd crack up at any homonym that could be misconstrued as something vulgar. And, to tell you the truth, I haven't really grown up much because I was even thinking about how funny it would be if I were in his situation. No, but surely this wouldn't happen, especially when I'm substituting. Ugh.
As the student slowly approached the non-stop onslaught of "balls," I began to sweat profusely. I needed to keep a straight face in front of these kids if this guy decided to pull any tricks. I needed to set the example. I needed to show these students that there's a time and a place for these things and that they ought to be focusing on what the textbook is trying to explain.
Then, he said it. He said it with equal excitement and amusement. I could see the writing above his head as he said it: Exploit This Word. BALLS. He said it with such vulgarity and emphasis. And with each time he had to repeat the word, his emphasis and excitement grew. BALLS. Forget being mature. Forget worrying about getting in trouble. He was just reading from the book. BALLS. He said it over and over again. He even stopped to repeat it, as if questioning it's pronunciation. BALLS? He even made his own comment, "What's with all the balls?"
The class was laughing and giggling, and I was on the verge of breaking my straight face. I wanted to join them, but I couldn't. I had to clench my stomach to prevent myself from letting out a sigh of humiliating laughter. Eventually the joke got old, but the kid kept saying it in that tone. I had to interupt him and say, "Okay!!! We all get it. BALLS!"
And with that, my Chemistry lesson was lost. I'm sure none of the kids remembered what we just read, other than the fact that "balls" was in some sort of example. Heck, even I don't remember what it was about.
Crazy People of the Day: The author, editor, & publisher of that Chemistry textbook
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Saturday, October 23, 2004
Twilight Zone
Current mood: disappointed
Twilight Zone: The Movie is quite a frightening movie, especially the last of the 4 segments. Here, John Lithgow plays John Valentine, a horrified airplane passenger on a stormy flight who discovers a gremlin is at work destroying the airplane's engines. But everytime he tried to show someone, it disappears.
Anyway, I knew that this segment was a remake from an episode of the original Twilight Zone television series, starring a young William Shatner in 1963. I guess since Halloween is approaching, I really wanted to see it. After finding it's next air time and waiting a full week in excitement and anticipation, I finally saw it today.
I was watching the episode. All was going great and then when the gremlin makes its appearance, I practically fell on the floor in laughter. It was a man in a monkey suit!!!! I mean, I knew the effects weren't going to be spectacular, but this was rediculous! Shatner did an excellent job of being paranoid and scared, but when I saw the monkey, it lost all its sincerity. I could barely stand to watch the rest of the show. The makeup was pretty bad too. When the camera zoomed in on it for a full 7 seconds, it was all over for me.
So if you haven't seen this episode, I highly recommend it for a HUGE laugh. It's called "Nightmare at 20,000 Feet."
Crazy Person of the Day: Nick Cravat, God rest his soul, the man in the monkey suit
Click here for a pic of the monkey!
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Friday, October 15, 2004
Newton
Current mood: embarrassed
Ok, I've told this story enough now that I should probably put it into a blog:
It was a dark and stormy night...ok, well it wasn't stormy and I guess all nights are pretty dark. Eh hem...It was night. Not much was stirring until I heard this loud crash.
I couldn't quite tell if it was inside or outside the house. My first suspects were the cats. They must have some form of OCD because if there's anything that is lying precariously in the house, they feel the need to knock it over in the middle of the night.
I get up and investigate the rooms expecting to find a laundry basket or something on the floor and a cat with a "oh crap I'm in trouble" look on its face. To my surprise nothing in the house was disturbed. Perplexed, I curiously go back to bed.
It is not until the next morning I discover what had happened from my neighbor upstairs. Apparently her daughter was attempting to remove her air conditioner from the window when she lost control of it. The cord got tangled on her finger and ripped right out of the unit, allowing it to drop many feet downward onto my air conditioner, never reaching the ground. The daughter had to go to the hospital for a severely swollen finger, but she was okay.
My neighbor asked me to see what I could do about getting the air conditioner down for them. Now here comes the intelligence only I could have. Obviously, I could not pull it in through the window because it wouldn't fit with our air conditioner already in place. And I couldn't remove mine either because it was pinned down by the weight of the other. I did not have a ladder tall enough to reach the window from the outside either. Hmm, what can I do?
The gears started turning in my head. I thought maybe I could repel the machine down slowly with some rope or something. After searching quickly for some rope, the best I could come up with was some twine. Keep in mind, I did consider it's weakness in supporting a heavy appliance such as the one in question.
I tied the twine around the air conditioner and wrapped it around the bed post inside. I sloooowly nudged it over the edge of my air conditioner. It was halfway over, then finally at the point where all the weight shifted and gravity took command, the twine snapped. The was a brief moment of silence that seemed to last eons. It captured the moment perfectly.
Dusting off my hands, I cleaned up the twine, shut the window, and went outside to see what I had done. Fortunately, the now completely fallen air conditioner was still in one piece. I lugged it up to the curb and debated whether I would tell anybody what I tried to do. I guess this story was too funny not too tell anyone, but I thought about it being one my secrets that I could refer to for my own personal enjoyment. But no. Of course I'm a blabbermouth.
Crazy Person of that Day: My neighbor, for trusting that I could accomplish such an awkward task.
5:06 AM - 2 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove
Thursday, October 14, 2004
Cheryl
Current mood: thoughtful
I was sitting here thinking about the name Cheryl. The first thing I thought of was that the only word that rhymes with Cheryl is peril. Hmmm. I also thought it looks very similar to the word "cherry." And also, you could shorten it just Cher, but unfortunately some old music diva has exclusive rights to that causing Cheryls all over the world wanting people not to shorten their name. Then there's the confusing phonetics of the "ch" being pronounced "sh." Why? Because the person that invented the name thought they were being creative when really all they were doing was pissing people off.
So let's see what we have here. An iminently ruined, mispronounced fruit that wants to turn back time....babe. But then something startling happened.
Here I am on MySpace, when a Cheryl e-mails me, commenting me on my blogs. It seems that I've put a smile on her face at least one time today. She sends me a nice message, provoking me to view her profile. This Cheryl is hardly a ruined fruit. Although she may be interested in peril, she certainly doesn't live her life in it. And her pictures evoke a clarity and warmness that Cher couldn't possess no matter how many face lifts she got. I'd be honored to mispronounce her name in her presence. It might even make me giggle.
So what have we learned? A name is a name, like a book cover is a book cover. Sometimes you shouldn't think too much about trivial things, no matter how entertaining it may be. So Cheryl, this blog's for you! Cheers!
Crazy Person of the Day: Myself, for obvious reasons
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Friday, September 10, 2004
The Jog
Current mood: energetic
Went for a 7:30am jog. I forgot how many people are actually up doing things at such a time. At least I now realize, again, that I'm missing a whole chunk of my day. But it'll be rough trying to consistantly get up that early. After my jog, I had no choice. I had to take a nap. Must obey the body.
Anyway, I decided to jog a different route. I like this way the best so far. Not many crazy people to note on my trip. I guess all the normal people get up in the morning. However, when I was jogging in place at a corner, waiting for a light to turn, this lady in her car was obsessively staring at me. I did one of those "ok, she's staring at...look away...ok, she's still staring at me, ok this in uncomfortable" deals.
Crazy Person of the Day: Crazy Staring Lady in Car...stop looking at my package!
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Wednesday, September 08, 2004
G-String
Current mood: creative
Had to buy some guitar strings today. I recently broke my high E-string when I was trying to clean them. The oils on my fingers were making all the strings emit this green grime that was getting onto my fingers, so I figured I'd just get a cloth and wipe them off. In order to do this, I had to loosen all of the strings. Well, I forgot that the high E tuning peg went the opposite way than the other 5 strings, so....SNAAAAAP! I'm always afraid that it's going to puncture my eyeball.
Well, I cleaned off the rest of the strings and also noticed that my G-string (the one on the guitar) had part of the coil wrapping missing by the second fret. So when I went to the crappy local music store, I got both strings. I was a little nervous buying them, because I'm really a drummer and I don't do this frequently. I wanted to make sure I say the right thing. So of course the guy asked me what gauge and I panicked. I said, "Um...you know, whatever you got." What an idiot I am. The guys starts rambling about how they are all different. He finally just gave me the 2 strings, and I was out of there. I went home and replaced the strings without incident. Now I have 2 good sounding strings at least. I should have replaced them all, but I'm such a cheapskate. Anyway, that was my adventure for the day.
So my crazy guy of the day goes to: Crazy Local Music Shop Guy
Gonna go jogging tomorrow, so I'm sure I'll see someone crazy while I'm out. I'll report as soon I get back.
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Tuesday, September 07, 2004
Chinese
Current mood: surprised
Just ordered Chinese food. It got here in under 15 minutes. Unbelievable. I've spent longer time just trying to open the wrapper to the fortune cookie. I had to commend the delivery guy. They've always gotten our order right, it's always quick, and it's always good. Kudos.
Next Tuesday is our gig in NYC at a place called Pianos. We're opening for a great artist named Joseph Arthur. If you haven't heard of him yet, please check him out. It'll be worth it. Unfortunately this gig is sold out, so if you want to see us next, you'll have to wait until 9/24/04 at The Luna Lounge in NYC. Check www.shamra.net to stay updated.
Crazy Person of the Day: The Chinese delivery guy for somehow knowing exactly what I want and for sleeping outside my house in a hidden tent waiting with it over a portable heater until I call him.
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Monday, September 06, 2004
Amusement
Current mood: pissed off
Went to an arcade yesterday. I haven't been to one in a while, but I've always loved video games. I've noticed there a lot more games that require 8 tokens. That's ridiculous. I watched kids all day long pump $2 in these games for less than a minute of entertainment. Even the $1 games I've played, mostly the ones with the infrared guns, were a complete ripoff. If you're not a master at the game, your game will end in 30 seconds. There were also a lot of broken games. When I called the attendant, all he did was either give me back my tokens or pretend to fiddle with the inside of the coin slot. So even though I got my money back, the game was still broken, and no "Out of Order" sign was posted. I'm sure they'll have a technician look at it. lol
Also went bowling last night. It was fun, but I definitely can't bowl like I used to. I remember getting in the high 100's and even scoring over 200 a few times. Now, I'm lucky to get over 100. Not that I was sincerely trying my best....I was more into just having fun. And is it me, or shouldn't everone know the unwritten rule not to bowl while the person next to you is bowling? It annoys me.
Crazy Person of the Day: Saw a crazy guy on top of this pedestal for an apartment complex sign, dancing and doing weird gestures with headphones on.
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Saturday, September 04, 2004
Verdi and Stuff
Current mood: tired
Went to NYC with some friends last night. Ate a place called La Traviata in Brooklyn. I wagered that very few of the staff know that La Traviata is a Verdi opera. Thanks to a nutty professor I had in college, I not only knew that, I saw a performance of it. Anyway, dinner was nice, and afterwards we walked to the Promenade for one of the best views of the NYC skyline.
The night was fine until I tried to get back home. Trains leave constantly at Penn Station, but not so much at Secaucus Junction. I apparently didn't consider this, and I had to wait until 1am for the next train. Ok God, I've learned my lesson, but don't be surprised if I screw up again. Unfortunately, the train was 20 minutes late, creating mass - I shouldn't say "mass" because there was only about 15 of us waiting - confusion over where the train was. This crazy guy starts nervously rambling to the police officer about how this always happens and how he's written letters to NJ Transit. He was really angry, but kept himself under control, so I give him props for not losing it. So we did eventually get home. Oh, one of the conductors that took our tickets on the previous train saw our destination and mumbled, "Holy S***." It was hysterical, but then I was trying to reason why he said it...was it 1) he knew that the next train wasn't until 1am at Secaucus 2) he knew that next train is always late, or 3) he agrees with me and thinks our destination station is probably the scariest, spookiest looking stations on the whole line. In any case, the way he said it had me repeating it the whole way home.
My next night out with friends should be interesting. Sounds like the whole band wants to go. We're going to a place that has a mechanical bull. There's already competition to see who can stay on the longest. I've got to start training.
Crazy Person of the Day: Frustrated NJ Transit Passenger mentioned above
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Thursday, September 02, 2004
The Accident
Current mood: accomplished
Had a gig with Shamra at The Saint in Asbury Park, NJ. What a crappy awning! It's definitely worse than CBGB's awning. I think clubs shouldn't be compared by how great they sound. They should only be compared to how their awning looks. Anyway, we played with Michael Ferentino and Stargazer Lily (www.stargazer-lily.com). I enjoyed both of their sets. Both are excellent artists. However they were both upstaged that night, and not by us...
While we were getting ready to leave, I heard a car accident down the street by the railroad tracks. I though this could be it. (It's been a recurring dream that I have that one day I'll have to rescue people from an accident) Since I was the closest, I ran to the scene. The impact wasn't to the exteme of my dream, but it was no fender bender. The side of one car was badly bashed in with broken glass everywhere. I made sure everyone wasn't injured first of all....not like the policeman that came to the scene with my accident several years ago. The 2 people in one car were fine, and the lady in the other car said she hit her chest on the steering wheel, but she thinks she's okay. I then asked if the lady needed to use my cell, and she did. I helped her dial her husband since she still seemed to be in a little shock. After her call, I suggested that they turn off their engines just to be safe, in case anything was leaking. Then, realizing that cars were still going around them through the intersection, I told them to put on their emergency lights so no one rear ends them. After making sure she didn't need my cell again, she thanked me and told me I was so helpful.
Well, I didn't exactly fufill my dream, but I felt good that I could help.
Crazy Person of the Day: The pre-teen kid circling on his bike at the scene of the accident...what was he doing out this late on a school night???
8:48 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit – Remove
Thursday, September 02, 2004
Pears
Current mood: confused
Had 2 servings of canned pears in pear juice from concentrate. Oddly, on the label, it says there's no Vitamin A or C. After finding a website with nutritional information for regular pears, it says that it does have some Vitamin A and C. I guess it's all in the skin, or maybe processed fruits just suck. I'll schedule an appointment with The Man.
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