Milk & Cookies

**Caution** This blog entry might forever be remembered each time you have milk and cookies.

If there was such thing as a food orgasm, it would be the utter ecstasy experienced when you drink milk after having cookies:

You wake up and have breakfast. It's a nice first meal, but the day is young and things just don't work out in the end for the two of you. You complain that you don't like the taste of orange juice after brushing your teeth...the breakfast complains that you don't appreciate it enough. Typical first meal kind of stuff. Blah, blah. You break up and move on.

After working for a little bit, you start snacking on some stuff that's bad for you. These one night stands are nice, but it makes you feel guilty. What if all these snacks ruin your real meal? Finally, you stop playing around and decide it's time to get back in the game again. With all the choices, it's difficult to choose a lunch, but you make your choice and go with it. Damn. It has tomatoes on it! You try to take the tomatoes off, and the sandwich is like, "why are you trying to change me?" You say, "this isn't what I wanted!" It says, "we'll you knew what you were getting when you got me! I should have listened when they told me what happened with breakfast!" You get an upset stomach, blah blah. You break up and move on.

Now that you're on the rebound, you start snacking again...hardcore. You're not even hungry, but your eating junk food like there's no tomorrow. You finally realize that this isn't the way to go. A friend reassures you that every time you lose a meal, a newer, better meal is right around the corner. Time goes by so slowly. You count the minutes.

It's getting late, and you are starving. It's time to get serious. You look around and decide very carefully because you only get one shot at this last meal. Finally, you have a date with a dinner at a restaurant. You dress nicely, and get some foreplay appetizers. Mmmm! The smell and savory bites really work you up, but just so subtly enough to make you crave more. You kiss the wine and order your carefully selected dinner. You imagine what it'll taste like...all the herbs and spices and aromas. You race to finish the appetizers and before you know it, your dinner slowly comes down to your table. The presentation is marvelous! All those curves and the colors!! You start salivating. It's just as you imagined! As you stick the first bite into your mouth, euphoria kicks in. It's like magic. You begin eating and your mouth provides more saliva to lubricate the food going down your throat. Things even get a little messy, but you don't care. A spoon falls on the floor, yummy noises are being made, and you're so proud of the all the moves you have with alternating the eating and drinking and combining certain foods. The waiter comes over, but you're like, "Not now!" But you soon realize, you'll need something special at the end of this meal. You yell out "Milk and Cookies!!!!" You scrape up the last morsels as fast as you can. You start licking the plate and then...and then...the waiter releases the plate of cookies in front of you and places the milk down next to it. You barely have time to breathe before you start shoveling the cookies into your mouth. Faster and faster, you devour the cookies, crumbs and all until they are all gone. The tension builds as your esophagus becomes partially clogged with gooey cookie heaven. You feel it coming. You KNOW it's coming. You reach for the tall glass of milk, raise it to your lips, lift the glass up and begin the most incredible swallowing orgasm that ever existed. Each gulp contracts your throat muscles as your eyes roll back and your toes curl tightly. YES! YES! YES! burp.

That, my friend...is milk & cookies.