Why carpe diem is not hard to grasp

Average life expectancy is just under 78 years.

25 years sleeping.

11 years working.

3 years eating.

1.5 years (NOT considering college) being in school.

1 year commuting to work.

1 year showering.

1 year peeing & pooing.

So far, we've shaved our lives down to 34.5 years. I could keep going, with things like being sick or injured, grocery shopping, doing chores & errands, & other stuff we routinely do that we don't particularly like to do. It's the story of the shrinking life.

Don't let people tell you it's a long life. You only get a certain number of years to do the things you want to do, so make them count. Carpe diem doesn't mean you have to sky dive or wrestle a bear every day. It just means that you need to push yourself. Be a little more outgoing and get out of the routine. There's no time for complaining, fighting or worrying. There are so many possibilities of things to do in this lifetime. Your purpose is to think about these possibilities and do something about them.

I hope the 2 minutes it took reading this post changes the other 16,398,720 minutes* of your life.

*minus what you've lived already

1

I let the wind control where I go.
What the hell does that mean?
It means let life happen and enjoy the ride.
So you believe in destiny?
Well (pause) no. I mean you have control over stuff, but for the most part, a lot of things come at you unexpectedly. I just believe in making the best of it.
Nah, it sounds like destiny, dude.
Not if you think about it... I hate the word destiny. I think it's a foolish debate anyway.
No, that's cool how you think about it.
Yeah. I mean, do you ever feel like - whether it's good or bad - that you were meant to be at this place in your life? And when new people come into your life, it's as if, you knew you were going to have them in your life? You know? Something just feels comfortable about it.
That's so destiny you're talking about!
NO! Well, you can call it whatever you want. I believe you have control over some things. So, it's like a mix. You can change your destiny a little.
Luke, it is unavoidable. It is your destiny! Haha!
Retard.
But that sounds weird: change your destiny.
Dude, forget it.
Ok.

So, what are you going to do about the problem? I think you're totally fucked.
I don't know, yet. This is huge.
Why don't you just let the wind take care of it.
(Sarcastically) Ha ha. Seriously, this is the worst catch 22 ever. All that work & research I've done and now I'm lying to all those that helped me. I can't even use the damn thing! It's useless! I don't know who to trust and the whole thing rests on Tierson's word he'd keep his mouth shut. Who the hell is going to help me? I can't just drop the bomb on anyone.
I wish you hadn't even told me, man. I can't even help you.
You're different. I told you just because I needed to tell someone. I couldn't take it! I was going nuts!
What if Tierson has the same problem? You think he told anyone?
Fuck. I don't even want to think about it.
Pull over here. I want to get a drink.
Ok, hurry up, though. We need to keep rolling.

The importance of being self-important

I love how MySpace just pops up on my screen. So convenient now that it's my home page.

Hmm, I hate typing my email address & password all the time, but if I click on Remember Me, someone might sneak into my account and hack it or something. So, I guess I'll just keep typing it in because I need to maintain my profile. Ahhh! I misspelled my password because I was so anxious to sign in! Ok, now it's good, whew.

Ohhh, messages! Yes! More friends! Yes! Ew, I don't even know this person. But I'll add them anyway. This band looks stupid. Leave me alone. But I'll add them too because it'll just give me more friends.

Ok, let's go to my main page. Ahhh, there's me!!! Yay! I still look so cute! Should I change my headline? Nooo, I still like it! haha Time to add some new pics.

Ok, now I should post a bulletin letting all my friends know that I've posted the new pics. Ohhh, and I will write a blog about how I just ate a banana. It was so gross, but I ate it anyway. And then Joey made fun of me saying that I'd eat anything. Then, I started thinking I was too fat. What a funny story! I'll also add how I just added new pics. I bet my friends will comment, telling me I look beautiful!

Time to steal some friends from my friends! More friends, yay!

I'm gonna go look for a new layout for my profile. Ohhh, this one's hot! I love pink. Those sparkles are awesome. I don't care if it slows down my page. It makes my profile pic look even better!

I definitely should change my profile song. It's been over 3 days with this new Rhiannon song. Geez, I'm slackin!

Let's look at other bulletins...OHHHH survey time!!!! This one's long, but I have to do it. Plus, all my friends will be reading about me. Yay! Oh, it asks what I was just doing. I'll put that I posted new pics again!

I'm gonna write a blog about the bulletin now. I have to email my friend, Stacy to let her know that I just wrote a blog about the bulletin in which I answered that I just posted new pics, then wrote a bulletin and a blog about the new pics, so my friends wouldn't miss the fact that there are new images of me available! Hotness!!!!

------

Ok, I'm sick now.

I've never...

Sometimes, you can learn more about someone by what they HAVEN'T done.

I've never...

(medically)
been admitted to a hospital
been the reason to go to an emergency room
broken a bone
had stitches
had a severe burn
needed glasses
needed braces
had any major disorders

(morally)
killed anyone
severely injured anyone
stolen anything expensive
been arrested
received a speeding ticket or moving violation
avoided or cheated my taxes
killed any animals with my car
driven drunk

(travel)
been off this continent
went up the Washington Monument
went up the St. Louis Arch
touched, swam in, or floated on the Mississippi River
been to Mexico
been to Disneyland
been to Alaska or Hawaii
been to a late night talk show

(fun)
shaved my head
gone mountain climbing
gone sky-diving
gotten a tattoo
spent money at a strip club
been to an NFL football game
sang solo karaoke in front of people
gone skiing

(weird)
seen a UFO, ghost, alien, Bigfoot, or Nessie
touched a dead person
hallucinated
been unconscious
broken a mirror
had my palm read
attempted to cast a spell
seen Siamese twins

What Will Your Discography Be?

Life is like music. A generation is an opus. A decade is a box set. A year is an album. A month is an EP. A week is a single. A day is a song. An hour is a chorus. A minute is a phrase. A second is a note.

Each day, you get a chance to write a song, so to speak. All we have are the things we say and the things we do. It seems like an easy thing to do: to control these 2 things. But any fool could even tell you it's not. Sometimes a horribly placed note can ruin a song. But we try to learn from those mistakes. We try to become prolific composers in our own world. We learn how to arrange those notes into coherent phrases. The most memorable part of your day is the chorus. Maybe one hour in your life changed a person's life or your own. Besides, these are the hooks that shape us.

At the end of the day, you've finished your song. Maybe your pet ran away or your car finally quit on you or your girlfriend left you. Yep, you wrote a country song. Maybe you sat around and got high with a bunch of your old college buddies. Yep, you wrote a jam song. Maybe you scored with 3 babes in one night and then rode a motorcycle into a fountain. Yep, you wrote a rock song. Maybe you got caught looking at the wiener of the guy who was peeing next to you in the bathroom. Yup, you just covered George Michael. You get the point.

The notes can pass by so quickly. Sometimes there are others that create great harmony with you...sometimes they create dissonance. Hopefully, they always resolve. Take time to notice these notes. Listen to other people's music. You're not a one-hit wonder. The analogies can go on forever. I guess this is an aspect I've always been attracted to about music. It's a philosophy I can understand. We all emit these vibrations. Like in the song "Good Vibrations" - no not by The Beach Boys. The Marky Mark song. He says, "Yeah. Can you feel it, baby? I can too." Ha-ha, no I'm just kidding! No, but really, later in the song, he says, "Making you feel the rhythm is my occupation. So feel the vibration." That's what I'm talking about...I think.

Top 10 Reasons Why I'm Not a Jerk

There's been a lot of speculation out there that I might be a jerk, so I just wanted to clear my name.

10. I enjoy working with and being around children. I once came up with an invention that calmed kids suffering from attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder called Tranq-kid-lizers, that operated similarly to blow darts.

9. I love animals. When I was much younger, I teased my pet dog by dangling a Twizzler in my mouth. As he quickly snatched it from me, he took a piece of my lip with him. I didn't hold it against him.

8. I care about world hunger. When I sit down to eat, no matter how much is on my plate, I make sure I finish every last bite because I know there are starving people in Africa. Sometimes, I almost puke. But I don't...'cause, well, there are starving people.

7. I give great advice. A friend of mine was thinking about killing himself and I told him, "you shouldn't do that." Luckily, that's all it took and he's still with us to this day!

6. I give blood. I asked the nurse if there was any way they could specially store my blood so I would be the only one to use it in case I was in some horrible accident. She didn't honor me with an answer, but I still gave blood anyway.

5. I do volunteer work. An acquaintance asked me if I wanted to volunteer for an event that his organization was holding. I told him that since he was asking me, I wasn't technically volunteering to do it. He disagreed. After about 5 minutes of very intense debate, I conceded.

4. I respect the elderly. Whenever an old person is driving really slow in front of me, I don't honk. I might curse, tailgate, or illegally pass them as I flip them the bird, then cut them off, but I don't honk. That would be very jerk-ish.

3. I'm an environmentalist. The first thing I did when I moved in here was update my bathroom to make it "green." It was previously a boring white color and I can't deal with that in the morning. Plus, the green makes me think about the environment and the things I possibly could be doing to help contribute to help save our planet.

2. I'm sensitive. I cried a lot during this year's Olympics. One of the young Chinese gymnasts wobbled on the balance beam and fell off, thus ruining her chance at obtaining any sort of medal and shattering a dream she's been chasing for 4 years. When she did that little dance trying to maintain her balance, I laughed so hard, I cried. it was hysterical!

1. I never brag about all the reasons why I'm not a jerk.

I think it would be interesting if....

the presidential debates were conducted in the manner of YouTube comments.

Kurt Cobain was still alive.

gasoline was illegal.

the whole world was blind.

the winds from hurricanes smelled like farts.

we lost the Revolutionary War.

Christina Applegate donated her boobies to the Museum of Natural History.

they made a sequel to The Princess Bride.

9/11 never happened.

at the moment of conception, a bell would ding.

people said what they really thought.

McCain and Obama arm wrestled.

television was never invented.

instead of a handshake, having sex was the customary greeting.

there was a cure for cancer.

Mr. T showed up at my door with balloons.

the government took away all of our current debts.

our world was half the size that it is.

I had a reality show.

Jesus comes back tomorrow, but he all he wants do is play Wii.

people actually got what they deserved.

you told someone about this blog.