I'm Alive

You'll never grasp the understanding of being alive until you've kill something that potentially could have killed you. Technology and remembering to maintain technology are what saved me. I smelled death, tragedy, loss, ruin, and destruction in that late, cool evening. It could have been too late if it weren't for the alarm. I didn't run down the stairs. I floated, never remembering or feeling the steps beneath my feet. Even before the amber spikes appeared to me, I saw the glowing reflection off the wall of the stairway. In one frozen incarnation, I removed myself from the moment and every intimate hue of a fireplace I could remember flashed through my mind. A contrast that - for a fraction of a breath - couldn't have been more at odds.

Amazingly, I was as calm as ever. I tried smothering the beast with the very object it was burning, but struggled to make any progress. Seconds ticked by and I knew it only takes seconds for it to lose control, turning this beast into an unstoppable monster. Fire extinguisher? No. Kitchen rug? Yes! I grabbed it and threw it over and snubbed that little devil out. I took a moment and realized, I could have lost everything. The ones I love. The house I fought to keep. Sentimental possessions. My own life.

The fire was not big at all, but I know I'm lucky. I've never REALLY felt like anyone or anything was looking out for me until this moment. I feel like I've been straightened out. I feel like a mouth that just sucked in its first gulp of air after spitting out mouthwash. This fire ignited the self-awareness of being alive. My pulse means something again.